2011 Wordle

I meant to post this last week sometime, but you know how stuff gets away from me.  It's a Wordle of the titles and authors of all the books I read in 2011.  Pretty clear who made my "most read" list, huh?

Sorry it's so small.  If you click on it, you'll go to the Wordle page with a larger image.

Coolest Card EVAR!

Check this out!  I got the coolest card in the mail today.

Does that not just rock?  I think this one is going to have to go on my permanent magnet board, once I get the damn thing hung again.

In other news, I don't have much news.  I'm reading A Lady Awakened by Cecilia Grant, which is pretty amazing so far.  There's been a lot of buzz about this one, and if the rest stays as good as what I've read so far, it will be totally deserving.  I'll let you know how it goes.

I saw on twitter that Candace Havens is getting ready to run another Fast Draft class, and I'm seriously considering signing up.  Has anyone taken it?  Any advice?  Apparently the idea of the class is that you're supposed to write 5,000 words a day, so at the end of the two weeks, you should have a 70,000 word first draft.  That's one unusually long m/m romance, or quite possibly two average-ish length ones.  I'm not sure if I'm up for that kind of pressure, but it sure would be a kick in the ass to get writing.  And the class is only $20, so it's not like it's a huge financial investment.  (Although a significant time investment if I'm really going to do it.)

As far as the rest of my resolutions go, the cleaning one isn't going exactly as I planned, but I am making progress.  Today was trash day, and I managed to ditch a whole trash bag full of crap.

I have the next knitting project for myself planned out, but I'm trying to wrap up a few ongoing projects before I start it.

The "read less" resolution is in the toilet.  I looked at my little red book, and as of the first of the year I only had 295 books to read to reach 1,000 since I started logging them.  I think I'd rather hit 1,000 this year, so 295 is my new goal.  I have, however, managed to not buy a book for 5 whole days.  That's pretty good for me lately.

Let's see.  What else?  I haven't done any exercise since that little bout on the Wii last week.  I haven't bothered with the picture a day thing, either, although I'm still enjoying taking pictures with my Samsung thingie.  Mostly of the cat.

I think that's everything new and interesting.  Or even not so interesting.  I'm not even wearing any lip balm today!

The Book List- 2011

Here it comes.  The hairy, scary list of over 300 books that I read this year.  (There are a fair number of category and novella length stories in here, so it's not quite as impressive as it sounds at first.)  I've bolded my favorites.  The ones that are both bolded and starred *** were my very most favorite.  I've reread many of the starred ones a time or two already.

1.  How to Marry a Duke- Vicky Dreiling
2.  Desperate Choices- Kathy Ivan
3.  Doctor Who: Snowfall- Gavin Collinson and Mark B. Oliver
4.  Midnight Crystal- Jayne Castle
5.  The Sevenfold Spell- Tia Nevitt
6.  The Awakening- L.J. Smith
7.  Waking the Witch- Kelley Armstrong
8.  Not Just the Nanny- Christine Ridgway
9.  Like Clockwork- Bonnie Dee
10. Warrior- Zoe Archer
11. Treasured- Crystal Jordan
12. Physical Therapy- Z.A. Maxfield
13. Coin Operated- Ginny Glass
14. In Too Deep- Jayne Ann Krentz
15. Ladies Man- Suzanne Brockmann
16.  A Discovery of Witches- Deborah Harkness
17.  Somebody Killed His Editor- Josh Lanyon
18.  Fatal Shadows- Josh Lanyon***
19.  A Dangerous Thing- Josh Lanyon***
20.  The Hell You Say- Josh Lanyon***
21.  Death of a Pirate King- Josh Lanyon***
22.  The Dark Tide- Josh Lanyon***
23.  Among the Living- Jordan Castillo Price
24.  Criss Cross- Jordan Castillo Price
25.  The Dickens With Love- Josh Lanyon
26.  His Convenient Husband- J.L. Langley
27.  Hemovore- Jordan Castillo Price
28.  Erias Menage- Alice Gaines
29.  All She Wrote- Josh Lanyon
30.  Crux: Southern Arcana, Book 1- Moira Rogers
31.  Lessons in Love: A Cambridge Fellows Mystery- Charlie Cochrane
32.  Mercy Blade- Faith Hunter
33.  Duck!- Kim Dare
34.  The One That Got Away- Rhianne Aile and Madeleine Urban
35.  Whisper Falls- Toni Blake
36.  Body & Soul- Jordan Castillo Price
37.  The Spurned Viscountess- Shelley Munro
38.  Blinded By Our Eyes- Clare London
39.  Undeniably Yours- Shanon Stacey
40.  Fair Game- Josh Lanyon
41.  The Happy Onion- Ally Blue
42.  Blameless- Gail Carriger
43.  Burning Up- Angela Knight, Nalini Singh, Virginia Kantra, Meljean Brook
44.  His at Night- Sherry Thomas
45.  Lead Me On- Victoria Dahl
46.  Heaven- Jet Mykles
47.  Court Appointed- Annmarie McKenna
48.  Strawberries For Dessert- Marie Sexton***
49.  Purgatory- Jet Mykles
50.  Hell- Jet Mykles***
51.  The Iron Duke- Meljean Brook
52.  Holiday Sparks- Shannon Stacey
53.  Catch Me If You Can- L.B. Gregg
54.  Black Gold- Clancy Nacht, Thursday Euclid
55.  Bareback- Chris Owen
56.  Here Comes the Groom- Karina Bliss
57.  Motor City Witch- Cindy Spencer Pape
58.  Amethyst Bound- L. Shannon
59.  Talk Dirty to Me- Ginny Glass, Inez Kelley
60.  Call Me Irresistible- Susan Elizabeth Phillips
61.  Bring the Heat- M.L. Rhodes
62.  Shadowfever- Karen Marie Moning
63.  Touch Me Gently- J.R. Loveless
64.  Blue Ruin 1: Some Kind of Stranger- Katrina Strauss
65.  Coming Undone- Susan Andersen
66.  Tech Support- Jet Mykles
67.  Yours, Mine, and Howls- Kinsey W. Holley
68.  Handcuffs and Spreader Bars- Kim Dare
69.  Mind F*cked- Mia Watts
70.  Pretty Man- Ryan Field
71.  Sex and the Single Earl- Vanessa Kelly
72.  Coming Clean- Inez Kelley
73.  Blood, Smoke, and Mirrors- Robyn Bachar
74.  Texas Tangle- Leah Braemel
75.  Strange Fortune- Josh Lanyon
76.  Promises- Marie Sexton
77.  Faith & Fidelity- Tere Michaels
78.  Overnight- E.C. Sheedy
79.  One Con Glory- Sarah Kuhn
80.  Drawn Together- Z.A. Maxfield
81.  The Charlie Factor- Diana DeRicci
82.  Slave Boy- Evangeline Anderson
83.  Slave to Sensation- Nalini Singh
84.  Snowed In- Rhianne Aile and Madeleine Urban
85.  Brier's Bargain- Carol Lynne
86.  Seb's Surrender- Carol Lynne
87.  I Love Rock N Roll- Carol Lynne
88.  Cryoburn- Lois McMaster Bujold
89.  No One Lives Twice- Julie Moffett
90.  Whistling in the Dark- Tamara Allen
91.  Anna and the French Kiss- Stephanie Perkins
92.  The Ghost Wore Yellow Socks- Josh Lanyon***
93.  Sno Ho- Ethan Day
94.  Truly, Madly- Heather Webber
95.  Just For You- Jet Mykles
96.  Faith- Jet Mykles
97.  Genesis- Jet Mykles
98.  Revelations- Jet Mykles
99.  The Peach Keeper- Sarah Addison Allen
100. William's House- Amber Kell
101. Talker- Amy Lane
102. Talker's Redemption- Amy Lane
103. The Girl For Me- Failte***
104. Quicksilver- Amanda Quick
105. Striking Sparks- Jordan Castillo Price
106. Handcuffs and Leather- Kim Dare
107. Truth in the Dark- Amy Lane
108. Badlands- Seleste deLaney
109. Gambling On Maybe- Fae Sutherland
110. If I Must- Amy Lane***
111. Making His List- Devon Rhodes
112. Scoundrel- Zoe Archer
113. Wrong Number, Right Guy- Mia Watts
114. Hunters- Michelle Marquis
115. Three Wrong Turns in the Desert- Neil Plakcy
116. Shadow Touch- Marjorie M. Liu
117. Love & Scandal- Donna Lea Simpson
118. Rosemary and Rue- Seanan McGuire
119. Lord Scandal- Kalen Hughes
120. The Panther's Lair- Esmerelda Bishop
121. Infernal Devices- Abigail Barnette
122. Trash Course- Penny Drake
123. The Ghost on My Couch- L.A. Gilbert
124. Real Mermaids Don't Wear Toe Rings- Helene Boudreau
125. Hot Pursuit- Suzanne Brockmann
126. Magic Slays- Ilona Andrews
127. The Debutante's Dilemma- Elyse Mady
128. All Play & No Work- Carol Lynne
129. Breaking the Rules- Suzanne Brockmann
130. Edward Unconditionally- Lynn Lorenz
131. Always the Baker Never the Bride- Sandra D. Bricker
132. Fireflies- Ally Blue
133. With the Band- L.A. Witt
134. Everything and the Moon- Julia Quinn
135. Come Unto These Yellow Sands- Josh Lanyon***
136. The Hood of Justice- Mark Alders
137. Tabloid Star- T.A. Chase
138. The Red Pyramid- Rick Riordan
139. Yours to Keep- Shannon Stacey
140. Conquest- S.J. Frost
141. Do Over- Mari Carr
142. What I Did For a Duke- Julie Anne Long
143. Details of the Hunt- Laura Baumbach
144. Cry Sanctuary- Moira Rogers
145. A to Z- Marie Sexton
146. Silver Bound- Ella Drake
147. Should We Drown in Feathered Sleep- Michael Merriam
148. Camwolf- J.L. Merrow
149. The Dark Enquiry- Deanna Raybourn
150. Threadbare- Clare London
151. Pricks and Pragmatism- J.L. Merrow
152. When Tony Met Adam- Suzanne Brockmann
153. River Marked- Patricia Briggs
154. Hot Head- Damon Suede
155. Chasing AllieCat- Rebecca Fjelland Davis
156. My So-Called Love Life- Allie Pleiter
157. Steam & Sorcery- Cindy Spencer Pape
158. The Missing Butterfly- Megan Derr
159. Love Ahead: Expect Delays- Astrid Amara
160. With This Ring- T.A. Chase
161. How to Keep the Love of Your Life- Maureen Willmann
162. Hex Hall- Rachel Hawkins
163. Tin Star- J.L. Langley
164. Heartless- Gail Carriger
165. Call Me Sir, Boy- Kim Dare
166. Tempest Rising- Nicole Peeler
167. Side Jobs- Jim Butcher
168. Off the Beaten Path- Katrina Strauss
169. Ghost Story- Jim Butcher
170. Diving in Deep- K.A. Mitchell
171. Just-You Eyes- Clare London
172. We're Both Straight, Right?- Jamie Fessenden
173. Hard Fall- James Buchanan
174. Making Waves- Tawna Fenske
175. Dead Reckoning- Charlaine Harris
176. The Thief- Megan Whalen Turner
177. Man, oh Man!- Josh Lanyon
178. Muscling Through- J.L. Merrow
179. Lover Avenged- J.R. Ward
180. Collision Course- K.A. Mitchell
181. Buried Sins- Marta Perry
182. Spice n Solace- K.C. Burn
183. Stone Kissed- Keri Stevens
184. Jump First- Charles Edwards
185. A Dog Named Slugger- Leigh Brill
186. Under Fire- Jo Davis
187. Mistletoe at Midnight- L.B. Gregg
188. The Fortune Quilt- Lani Diane Rich
189. Life, Over Easy- K.A. Mitchell
190. Secrets- Jordan Castillo Price
191. Accidentally His- Shawn Lane
192. Sex, Lies, and Online Dating-Rachel Gibson
193. The Last Pure Human- Twisted Hilarity
194. Camp Hell- Jordan Castillo Price
195. In a Dark Wood- Josh Lanyon
196. Yakuza Pride- H.J. Brues
197. Artie the Good Witch- Scarlet Hyacinth
198. Devon Cream- Jet Mykles
199. Half Pass- Astrid Amara
200. Marry Me- Jo Goodman
201. A Nanny For Nate- Lisa Worrall
202. Canyons of Night- Jayne Castle
203. Keeping House- Lee Brazil
204. Devlin and Garrick- Cameron Dane
205. The Book of Bright Ideas- Sandra Kring
206. The Gentleman and the Rogue- Bonnie Dee
207. Maritime Men- Janey Chapel
208. The Shattered Gates- Ginn Hale
209. Ticket to Ride- Shawn Lane
210. Crazy Wind- Xara X. Xanakas
211. When Irish Eyes Are Smiling- Tom Collins
212. Mind Fuck- Manna Francis
213. Wooing Master Jones- Amber Kell
214. Snagged- Jet Mykles
215. Servant of the Crossed Arrows- Ginn Hale
216. Horizons- Mickie B. Ashling
217. Taste- Mickie B. Ashling
218. India Black- Carol K. Carr
219. Finding Forgiveness- Dana Marie Bell
220. The Broken H- J.L. Langley
221. Mummy Dearest- Josh Lanyon***
222. Wolfsbane (MIA Case Files, #1)- K.C. Burn
223. ePistols at Dawn- Z.A. Maxfield
224. Dressed to Thrill- Kimberly Gardner
225. Spin Out- James Buchanan
226. GhosTV- Jordan Castillo Price***
227. He Completes Me- Cardeno C.
228. precious_boy- K.Z. Snow
229. Catching a Buzz- Ally Blue
230. And Call Me in the Morning- Willa Okati
231. Foxe Tail- Haley Walsh
232. Cut & Run- Madeleine Urban and Abigail Roux
233. Spell Bound- Kelley Armstrong
234. Squire- Jet Mykles
235. Like a Sparrow Through the Heart- Aggy Bird
236. A Change of Tune- J.M. Cartwright
237. Wicked Gentlemen- Ginn Hale
238. Barging In- Josephine Myles
239. Bent- Sean Michael
240. Cherry Pie- Samantha Kane
241. Cooking With Ergo- Luisa Prieto
242. Love & Loyalty- Tere Michaels
243. Anything For You- Ethan Day
244. When Irish Eyes Are Sparkling- Tom Collins
245. Some Kind of Magic- R. Cooper
246. Oleander House- Ally Blue
247. Libra: Outlined in Ink- Vivien Dean
248. Brindisi Bedfellows- Jamie Craig
249. Shades of Gray- Brooke McKinley
250. An Uncommon Whore- Belinda McBride
251. Like Coffee and Doughnuts- Ellie Parker
252. Bad Company- K.A. Mitchell
253. The Curtis Reincarnation- Zathyn Priest
254. His Hearth- Mary Calmes
255. Sursein Judgment- Jet Mykles
256. Just Hit Send- Grasshopper
257. Rhapsody For Piano and Ghost- Z.A. Maxfield
258. The Assignment- Evangeline Anderson
259. Litha's Constant Whim- Amy Lane
260. Between Sinners and Saints- Marie Sexton***
261. The Dark Horse- Josh Lanyon
262. Scorpio: The Heart to Help- Jamie Craig
263. Quinn's Hart- Cassandra Gold
264. Long Tall Drink- L.C. Chase
265. Not Knowing Jack- K.A. Mitchell
266. Bear, Otter, and the Kid- T.J. Klune***
267. One Real Thing- Anah Crow
268. Handcuffs and Pretty Things- Kim Dare
269. Gobsmacked- L.B. Gregg
270. Stolen Hearts- Sasha L. Miller
271. Crossing Borders- Z.A. Maxfield
272. The Cards of Life and Death- Colleen Gleason
273. Aquarius: He Said, He Said- Jamie Craig
274. Sonoran Heat- Katrina Strauss
275. Men Under the Mistletoe- Josh Lanyon, Harper Fox, Ava March, K.A. Mitchell
276. Goldilocks and His Three Bears- A.M. Riley
277. Grand Jete- Diana Copland
278. Submission- Chris Owen
279. The Locker Room- Amy Lane
280. Christmas With Danny Fit- Amy Lane***
281. Holiday Outing- Astrid Amara
282. Got Mistletoe?- Andi Anderson
283. Del Fantasma: Duck Fart- Jade Buchanan
284. Counterpoint- Rachel Haimowitz
285. And Playing the Role of Herself- K.E. Lane
286. Hide Out- Katie Allen
287. Primal Red- Nicole Kimberling
288. Baby It's Cold Outside- Nicole Kimberling
289. GI Joe Holiday- Amberly Smith
290. Winter Warmers- Chrissy Munder, Clare London, JL Merrow, Josephine Myles, Lou Harper
291. Mistletoe & Margaritas- Shannon Stacey
292. The Plot Bunny- Scarlet Hyacinth
293. Icecapade- Josh Lanyon
294. Someone Special- T.C. Blue
295. Black Cat Ink- Nicole Kimberling
296. All Snug- B.G. Thomas
297. The Winter Courtship Rituals of Fur-Bearing Critters- Amy Lane
298. Batteries Not Included- J.L. Merrow
299. Hue, Tint, and Shade- Jordan Castillo Price
300. Simple Gifts- L.B. Gregg
301. Carol of the Bellskis- Astrid Amara
302. Twinkle, Twinkle- Josephine Myles
303. The Elf, the Cat, and the Human- Sasha L. Miller
304. The Larton Chronicles- James Anson

In Flux

I don't know about you, but for me the week between Christmas and New Year's is always an odd one.  The old year is over, but the new one hasn't started yet.  It's a time for wrapping up old business and gearing up for the new.

For the old business, I'm mostly making sure that my book and knitting records are up-to-date, bills are paid, that kind of thing.  Reading the last of the holiday stories-- tonight's is Carol of the Bellskis, a m/m Hanukkah story.  And wrapping up a stray knitting project-- a hat made from the leftover yarn from my brother's Christmas socks that I intend to donate to a local homeless shelter.

For new business, I've started my first knitting project for myself.  It's this sack sock to collect all the random plastic bags that I keep finding all over my room.  (For someone who rarely leaves the house and shops almost exclusively online, I have a shocking number of plastic bags floating around the place.)  (Bonus, it will help me keep my room clean!)  I've picked up a couple of songs that inspire me for the beginning of a writing soundtrack.  I'm not working hard yet, but I'm poking in that direction.  And I've got my eye on a reading challenge over at Goodreads that should help me control the ebook buying issue.  I felt like crap today (monthly surge in symptoms, plus I'm just worn out from the past week or so), so no activity whatsoever, and no cleaning.  I think I might need the same for tomorrow.  But Wednesday, look out!  I'll poke around and do something or other.  My favorite Wii game encourages me to compete against myself, to always go just a little further, so once I get into it again that should help keep me motivated.

So, progress.

And with that, I will leave you with a picture.  I got up to go to the bathroom, and when I came back I discovered someone had stolen my spot.

It's a little hard to tell, because the bed is so cluttered.  But that green thing is the hat, almost finished then, and completed now.  There's also a cone of white/black/pink yarn that I'm using to make my sack sock.  I'm getting an interesting swirling stripe effect as it knits up.  I'll take a picture in a day or two, when I'm further along and it's easier to see what's going on.

'Night, all!

It's Coming

It's almost here.  No, not Christmas.  2012.  I've been thinking a lot in the last few weeks about what I want to happen, what I want to do, in 2012.  The first decision I made was that I want to cut my reading way back.

I'll give you a moment to recover from that bombshell.

Right now I'm on target to read 300 books in 2011.  That's a lot of books, and I've enjoyed all that reading thoroughly.  But I want to expand a few horizons in 2012, which means I'm going to have to spend less time reading.  My goal is to cut the reading in half-- I'm aiming for 150 books in 2012.

The big reason I want to cut the reading time is that I want to significantly increase the writing time.  As in, actually do some.  My goal is a little fuzzy in this area, but I think I want to go for two completed pieces in 2012, with at least one of those stories polished up and ready for submission.  (I know that sounds massive, but I'm thinking novella length, not 80,000+ word novels.)

I really want to knit some stuff this year.  It's been fun getting back to knitting after taking off most of 2011.  (Depression and joint pain pretty much killed my interest in it for a while.)  I'm thinking about doing a 12 in 12.  That is, 12 projects completed in 2012.  But not just any projects.  I want them to be stuff for ME.  I knit things for other people all the time, but I don't remember the last project I made for myself.  I have a boat load of sock yarn, with one slow going sock on the needles.  I have a *gorgeous* beaded scarf that I started like two years ago and have never finished.  I have a wacky shawl that I started a few months ago and had to set aside for other projects.  I just want to do some stuff for myself.

I want to get into the habit of gentle, regular exercise.  I know it will help me significantly.  Exercise is one of the major recommendations for people with Fibromyalgia.  Physical activity kills me right now, and it probably will for quite a while once I get started.  But I can't use that as an excuse anymore.  I have to do it.

Part of the reason I want to improve my condition and stamina is that there is not just one, but *two* conventions I'd really like to go to in 2012.  RT (Romantic Times) is in Chicago in April.  That's too close to miss if there's any way I can make it.  If I want to do anything other than sleep in my room all week, I've got to get my body used to moving and doing again.  The other convention is Gay Rom Lit, which is in October in Albuquerque.  Getting there will be a bit of a pain in the ass.  Either I'll have to fly, which will be quick and hopefully painless.  (Minus any body cavity searches security might decide to run.)  My other option would be to take the train.  Which actually sounds fun and romantic, riding the rails and all.  But it adds at least two days of travel both directions, and that might do me in.  (If I get a room with a bed, which I would absolutely do on a trip of this length, the price will be about the same as flying first class, which I kind of need to do for the larger seat size.  So pricing isn't the issue so much as how hard each travel option is likely to be on me.)

My thought process right now is that I'll try RT and see how it goes.  If I have a major problem, well, home is only a couple of hours away.  If I make it through RT without a hitch, then I have a better idea if I'll be up to the trip to Albuquerque in October.

You didn't think I would make it all the way through a list of goals without saying something about my disaster area, did you?  I want to do a little bit of cleaning every single day.  I'm not up to big stuff.  Just the thought of tackling the whole thing is enough to make me roll over and go back to sleep.  What I'm going to do is put on some music and clean to at least one song every day.  If I clean to one 3-5 minute song a day, it adds up to 20-35 minutes of cleaning time a week.  That will make at least a small dent in the disaster every week.  There are plenty of things I can do for 3-5 minutes without even leaving my bed.  Like clearing all the accumulated junk off my nightstands.  I think clearing out the crap and clutter will make me feel better emotionally.  It will probably help physically, too, because we've gotten well beyond the "write your finger in the dust" stage in spots.  (I give the computer screen and a short set of shelves by the bed a quick swipe with a Swiffer duster when I think about it, which isn't often.  Everything else is on its own.)

Finally, this is kind of a new idea to me, and I'm a little unsure about it.  But I think I might want to try the 365 Project.  If you're unfamiliar, the idea is to take a picture every day for 365 days, and post them.  I've really enjoyed snapping pictures with my Samsung thingy, and it might be fun to challenge myself to find something interesting to take a picture of every day for a year.  The challenge would be that I rarely leave the house.  At least 320 pictures would need to be taken from inside the house.  (And that may be a slightly generous on the side of how many out-in-the-world pictures I actually manage to take.)  I feel like this might push me a little, in a good way.  So I think I'm going to do it.

So, there you go.  Seven sections of goals for the new year.  (I'm also considering a book buying cap.  I have enough TBR books on the Kindle right now that I could make my 150 books goal and still have some left over.  But not buying books that I want is HARD, especially when you've got gift certificates or there's a sale on.  I'll be contemplating this one a bit more.)  Will I make them all?  Who knows.  But it feels like they're all pretty reasonable.  They're all action in a positive direction.  So I think for now they'll do.

My Squick Is Not Your Squick

Yesterday I read Brier's Bargain by Carol Lynne, and it kind of squicked me out.  You see, Brier was abused as a child, and brain damage from that abuse left him mentally handicapped.  His partner, Jackie, is of normal intelligence.

Brier is a sweet, caring person, and he's described as being high functioning.  He holds down a 40 hour a week job (although it's at a company where his twin brother is a long time employee, and it's not entirely clear what he does for those 40 hours), he gets his driver's license during the course of the story, and buys a car with his own money saved for the purpose.  But he's also described as being child-like and having problems controlling his temper (a not-uncommon problem for people who've had head injuries).

This book was actually kind of odd.  It's labeled as being the first book in the series, but it obviously picks up in the middle of the story.  After reading it I did a little research and discovered that Lynne changed publishers, and she had to change the name of the series, although it's a continuation of the old one.  As the story starts, Brier is going about his daily life and missing his lover, Jackie.  Jackie is on assignment in the Middle East.  Brier hasn't heard from Jackie in a while, and as a reader it's not clear if the relationship is real or if it's all in Brier's mind.  It turns out that Jackie was injured in an explosion, and everyone kept the news from Brier.

Jackie comes home missing part of his leg, and Brier settles in to take care of him.  At this point it's clear that there really is a relationship between the two men.  What's not clear is why.  We never get to see the falling in love portion of the relationship, even in flashback.  Why did Jackie, a man who's highly skilled and speaks at least two languages, fall in love with a man with the mind of a child, who at 35 is just learning to take care of himself?

There was more that left a bad taste in my mouth, like the fact that Brier was sexually abused while institutionalized.  It left me wondering if Brier really had the capacity to consent to a sexual relationship.  At one point Brier asks Jackie about sex with girls.  His only knowledge or experience of sex was with his abuser and then Jackie.  Can anyone really be gay or straight when they're so ignorant of their options?  I don't doubt that Brier loves Jackie.  But in a way it feels like a continuation of the abuse, not a choice freely made.  Would I feel differently if this was a straight relationship instead of a gay one?  I'd like to think not, but I might.  Would I feel differently if Brier was of normal intelligence?  Definitely.

My discomfort with this story has me thinking about disability and my attitude toward different types.  Brier has no problem with Jackie losing part of his leg.  It makes no difference at all in the way he feels about him.  He works hard to learn how to care for Jackie, because he doesn't want his lover to be in pain.  And yet it's a little creepy to me that Jackie takes the same attitude toward Brier and his disabilities.  People who are mentally handicapped are just as worthy of love as everyone else.  But it squicks me when that love comes from someone of normal intelligence.  It feels like the partner of normal intelligence is somehow taking advantage.  And in this situation Brier's history of abuse just increases that feeling.

Am I a terrible person for feeling this way?  I like to think that I believe that everyone is equal and deserves equal respect.  (Except, you know, for asshats who have personally shown that they don't deserve my respect.)  Does this squick come from a reasonable urge to protect someone who may not have the capacity to make the best decisions for themselves, or is my inner asshat showing?  I don't think any less of Jackie because of his physical disability, and would think quite a bit less of anyone who would hold it against him.

The choice of Brier as a romantic lead was a bold one.  I'm all for pushing boundaries and giving all kinds of people a voice in fiction.  But this one left me unsettled.

If anyone wants to check out the book in question, Brier's Bargain will be available tomorrow, Monday, for free from All Romance eBooks.  Or, you can weigh in now and tell me I'm an asshat.

Update on Last Week's Goals

So, some stuff got done, some stuff didn't, and some stuff is worse than it was before.  The DVD finally went out in the mail.  I managed to do some dusting and clear out a bag full of packing materials, catalogs, and general crapola.

But the laundry is still in the basket, taking up way too much space.  And instead of reducing my "books to read in 2011" file, it's increased from 107 to 120.  (A couple ebooks finally came available at the library, and I picked up a few others cheap.)  But 21 books in the rest of the month is still doable, if tight, as long as I don't add any more titles to the list.  (HA!)  Maybe I should just change the goal to "somewhere near 100" instead of "under 100".  Might be more realistic.

So that's about it right now.  One step forward, two steps back.  You know, the usual.

Lip Balm Flavor of the Day: Cat Pee (not as scary as it sounds- pink grapefruit, orange, and lime)

Goals

Hello!  I'm not dead!  I'm just up to my eyeballs right now.  (How anyone who doesn't work or take care of a family or do anything really can be up to her eyeballs I don't know.  But whatever.)

Anyway, I'm here to set a few goals for myself.  First (and I can't believe I'm making this my first goal, but that should tell you just how much it's annoying me), I need to clean.  I have not one, but two laundry baskets full of clean clothes that need to be folded and put away.  There's precious little floor space in this room.  I don't need to take it up with laundry.  There's about an inch of dust covering everything in the room, and what's not covered in dust is covered in cat hair.  Or my hair, because I'm shedding like mad again.  At this rate I should be completely bald by next Tuesday.  And there are piles of junk mail and general crap everywhere.  I can't take it any more.  The room must be cleaned.

My second goal for the month is to get my Goodreads "books to read in 2011" list under 100.  That's really not all the books I intend or expect to read this year.  It grows constantly.  But most of the books on that list are things that I've already bought and are languishing in the TBR of Doom.  (Sorry, I just read Shannon Stacey's Undeniably Yours, and now everything gets an "of Doom" tacked onto the end.  Plus, it really is the TBR of Doom.  It's where books I want to read go to be smothered to death under the stack of all the other books I want to read.  Scary, scary place, my TBR file.)  There are 107 books on the list right now, so if I can read 8 of them, without adding any others (Ha!), I'll meet that goal.

My third goal is to blog more than once a week.  That's really kind of pathetic.  Even I, who go nowhere and have no life, can usually come up with something to say more often than that.

My fourth goal is to remember to return Scott Pilgrim vs. The World to Netflix.  I've only had it for a month now.  I've watched some of it, and it's only meh, plus it keeps acting weird and skipping.

So, those are my goals for the month.  I think I'll start out strong by sticking the Scott Pilgrim disc back in its envelope (if I can find it) and putting it on the table with the rest of the outgoing mail.

Lip Balm Flavor of the Day: Gummy Bear

Cleaning Up My Act

I've noticed lately that my Kindle is chewing through its charge at an alarming rate.  I don't leave the wireless on, so ideally it should be good for 10 days or so.  At a minimum it should last for 7 days.  My most recent charge lasted 4 days.

So today I called Amazon customer service.  Apparently, I have an astonishing number of files on my Kindle, more than almost anyone the rep has seen in the 3 years he's worked for Amazon.  There were only 837 files on my Kindle at the time, almost half of them samples.  And the K2 (the version I have) is supposed to hold 1,500 books.  So even if a sample takes up as much space as an entire ebook, I'm still only a little over half full.

I didn't really understand all the tech-speak, but I guess the problem isn't the number of files on my Kindle per se.  The problem is with one of the 837 files.  There's a glitch in one of them, and it's making the Kindle continuously try to index itself, which is eating up power.  Supposedly there's no way to figure out which file it is, so the only thing to do is delete as many excess files as possible.  Either the bad file will be deleted and the problem will stop, or with fewer files it will spend less time indexing.  As the number of files goes down, hopefully the battery life will go up.

I accept that there's probably no way to know for sure which file is causing the problem, but this still annoys me.  I barely ever leave my room, let alone the house, so it's not like I'm ever in great danger of being Kindle-less.  But the charge really should last longer, and I don't want to have to clear that much stuff off my Kindle!

It kind of boggles me that the customer service guy was so surprised by the number of samples I have.  I can't be the only weirdo who uses her Kindle the way I do.  I find shopping directly from the Kindle to be a bit of a pain.  Also, I spend a lot of time cruising around reading websites, so I probably hear about another 2-3 books I want to check out every day.  I pop on over to Amazon, download the sample, and move on with my day.  When I want a new book I go through the samples until I find something interesting, and then with a couple of clicks I can purchase directly from the Kindle.  I can be anywhere to do this, including a doctor's office or the bathroom (prime book buying locations for me, btw).  As far as I know, the Kindle can't tap in to your Amazon wishlist, so adding all those books I'm interested in to my wishlist just won't work as well for me.  (I do wishlist books that haven't been released yet, since there are no samples for those.  Then, I check the wishlist every once in a while, and anything I'm still interested in I'll sample.)

I spent a good bit of my reading time today working my way through samples and deleting books that I didn't love and won't be reading again.  But the rest of my day was spent trolling Goodreads and adding more samples.  So I'm only down to 829 items-- a net decrease of 8 files.  Unless I got really lucky and deleted the problem file, I'm pretty sure that's not going to make a difference to my battery life.  I guess I'm going to have to spend the next couple of days reading samples.  That's fun in its own way, I guess, but I'd rather do it on my own schedule!