Back to Work

I went to work for four hours today- the first time I've worked since I went out on disability six months ago. It was... less than successful, at least from my point of view.

Two hours in I was already checking the clock, wondering how much longer I'd have to be there. By the end of the day I couldn't believe how angry and aggressive I was feeling. I walked in feeling positive and ready to get back into the swing, and I left feeling like I wanted to strangle something.

I know it's incredibly ungrateful in this economy to feel this way about a job, and it's especially silly to feel this way about a job with excellent insurance considering my health situation. But after four hours I know I don't want to be there anymore. I just don't know what the heck I'm going to do about it yet.

The bread dough that ate New York

I decided to take another whack at crockpot baking. I tried a blueberry bread about a month ago, and it was a bit of a disaster- the bottom and sides burned before the center finished cooking. This time I mixed up a batch of Whole Foods brand gluten-free sandwich bread. I love this stuff. The texture is similar to regular wheat bread, and the mix runs about $3.50 a box. Pricey, but nothing like the $7.99 (!!!!) a loaf they charge for the ready baked loaves in the refrigerated case.

My one problem with this mix is that it doesn't fit well in my bread machine. It's supposed to be a 1.5 lbs loaf. Back in my gluten-eating days, when I made a wheat loaf that size in my machine it was big, but not too big for the machine. When I make a loaf with this stuff it grows up over the edge of the pan. One memorable loaf, meant as my contribution to a Thanksgiving dinner I'd been invited to of course, grew over the edge of the pan, down the side, and onto the heating element at the bottom of the machine. I set the smoke alarm off with that one.

So, I was very excited to see that the Crockpot Lady, my personal hero, made a loaf of this in her crockpot. Problem solved! I though. Maybe not so much. As you can see from the picture above, the dough grew to completely fill my 4qt crockpot. Fortunately, it stopped before pushing off the lid, but it was a close thing. It's smelling nice and bready in here, and the edges have pulled away from the sides and have browned up nicely. But the top is still raw. I just hope it cooks through before the bottom burns again.

Why does this mix get so humongous for me? Is it the level of humidity here in Houston? Bad luck? Am I going to have to give in and start using my oven? If so I'm going to have to make two loaves at a time. There's no way all that bread dough is going into one loaf pan.

This baking stuff is getting complicated. I'll let you know how it all turns out.

Meds on TV

I've learned a lot about medications in the last two years. One of the unexpected side effects is that sometimes I recognize the names of drugs on TV shows. It gave me a chuckle last year when a couple of characters on CSI were all freaked out about a coworker taking zolpidem. Uh, zolpidem is Ambien, folks. There are only about a bajillion Americans on that stuff.



The one that made me smile tonight was Eleventh Hour. (Yes, I know today is Tuesday and it runs on Thursday. I'm a little behind on my Tivo watching.) Toward the end of the episode Hood found a bottle of pills. He rattled them and then said it was anti-tumor necrosis factor. Sounds fancy, huh? Know what that is? Remicade, Humira, or Cimzia. Know what's even funnier? To the best of my knowledge, anti-TNF doesn't come in pill form. Remicade is administered by IV and Humira and Cimzia are both injections. After watching the episode I deleted it, like most everything else. I tried to recover it to watch that scene again, but it was gone. I wanted to double check, because the character had pancreatic cancer. According to a quick online check, anti-TNF would not be used as a treatment for that. It's TNF that's used to treat cancer. It's still given by injection, though.



I haven't watched it in a couple of months, but I've also noticed that the same characters throw out the same possible diagnoses every week on House. And they like to prescribe Imuran (azathioprine) and Prednisone. Been on both of those, too.

I'm not sure what it says about me that I recognize so many meds on TV. Either I take too many medications or I watch too much TV. Or possibly both.

DS Lite as ebook reader?

I just heard that you can use a DS Lite as an ebook reader. $150 for an ereader? Sweet! (Kindle, for those who don't know, is $359, and the new Sony 700 is $399. And then you have to buy the actual books.) Does anyone know anything about this? I have many questions.

1. What is the screen like? I've rejected the idea of reading ebooks on a cell phone because the screen is just too small. I want something more substantial, closer to the size of a real paperback book. I know DS Lite has two screens, so it's supposedly visually more like reading a regular book. I'm just worried about how big those screens are.

2. Can I buy books anywhere? I've compared prices for a couple of books I want, and the Kindle prices were better than Sony or Fictionwise. Can I buy a Kindle version and put it on a DS Lite? Am I limited to certain sources of ebooks?

3. How hard is it to get the books onto the unit? I am techno-deficient. Some days getting this blog to post properly is beyond me. I don't have the knowledge, time, or patience to fiddle endlessly with formats, trying to get the text to play nice with the unit. Is it simple or am I going to have problems?

As I said, I'm pretty ignorant of this technology stuff. I'm sure there are things I should ask that I haven't thought of yet. If anyone can share some info about using the DS as an ebook reader, I'd be really grateful.

Living for Today

I like reading other people's blogs. That's probably why I have one of my own. I enjoy the little snapshots of people's lives- the things that make them happy, the things that make them sad, that new and exciting (or annoying) thing their kid/spouse/boss/other did yesterday. I like to check out the patterns they're knitting and ponder the philosophical questions along with them. Sometimes I comment, sometimes I just think. This time it's inspired my own blog post.

I came across a couple posts on different blogs tonight about taking life one day at a time. Focusing on solving today's challenges and leaving tomorrow's and yesterday's challenges alone. There is a certain wisdom in that. But it doesn't work so well when you've got a chronic illness.

The only reason I made it through today is because I planned for it yesterday. The only way I'll make it through tomorrow is by I laying the foundation today. Before I got sick I could fly by the seat of my pants if I had to. Sure, the day always goes smoother if the laundry's done and the meals are planned. But in a pinch I could get up early and run a load of laundry, and if I had to run through the drive through to pick up dinner, no big deal. I can't do that anymore. I always have to be prepared. I need that hour of sleep in the morning. I literally cannot function without it. And yes, I could go through the drive through if it was that or starve, but I'll pay for it big time afterwards.

I understand that they were perhaps talking about bigger things than the day-to-day necessities. I don't have time for the big problems. The small problems take up too much of my energy. And anyway, I know that some day my Crohn's is going to land me back in the hospital, possibly with major surgery. If you know it's going to happen, you don't have to worry about it anymore. It'll get here when it gets here. But the small things can back up on me quickly, and suddenly I have major problems that could have been prevented. If I wear myself out too much I end up stuck at home, in bed and in pain, for days at a time. If I don't make sure that I have gluten-free food that's full of nutrients and easy to digest I get even more tired. Or worse, I end up sick in the bathroom, which causes other problems that you don't want to know about.

I've had memory problems for months that I now know were caused by the Fibromyalgia. (Mom and I have affectionately named it "swiss cheese brain".) I forget stuff. All the time. And even if I remember something, I have a hard time applying that knowledge. For instance, I'll know that I have a doctor's appointment on Thursday. I'll remind myself every day that week of this appointment on Thursday. I can know that it's Wednesday. And yet, my brain doesn't make the next logical connection. The appointment is Thursday. Today is Wednesday. Therefore, the appointment is tomorrow. I can't tell you how frustrating that is. I've always considered myself a reasonably intelligent person. It's disheartening to have "duh" moments on such a regular basis.

It may not seem like such a big deal, to not realize you've got an appointment tomorrow, until you factor in all those little details. I have to figure out where the appointment is. I have to be sure there's gas in the car. I have to be sure I have appropriate clothing to wear. A list of current meds. Food for breakfast. Cash for parking. Change for tolls. Each of those perfectly ordinary, every day items is a discrete event, requiring thought and planning (and energy) on my part. I have to think about all of it, and plan it, before I can do it. It's exhausting.

Actually, now that I think about it, it's probably like having a baby. You have to pack for any eventuality. The only difference is, there's no sweet little baby cooing up at you as pay off. You're reward for surviving the day is- to twist one of my favorite author's lines- another day to survive.

So that's why "Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof" doesn't work for me. If I don't plan for tomorrow's evil it comes along and smacks me in the back of the head. And my poor old noggin can't take much more abuse.

Is this making any sense? I feel like I'm not expressing myself well. Time for bed.

Ouch!

I have a killer toothache right now. I'm trying to distract myself so that it won't hurt so bad, but it's not working very well. Ouch, ouch, ouch!

I talked to my boss this afternoon, and we've picked a day for me to go back to work- Feb 24.

I went to the hair dresser this afternoon and got my hair done. The last time I went was October, so it was getting pretty desperate. I had her put some copper highlights in with the blond for a little more pop. She decided to flatiron my hair (when I'm in her chair I pretty much let her do anything non-permanent she wants to my head), and I walked out of there looking a bit like a member of a 80's era hair band. It'll be back to it's usual frizzy/curly state tomorrow.

Sorry, I can't concentrate tonight. My tooth hurts too damn much. I'm about 5 minutes away from tracking down a pair of pliers and taking care of it myself. I've been told the tooth needs to come out, but the earliest they could get me in to see the oral surgeon was the 24th. The day I'm supposed to go back to work. And that's just for a consultation. I'm going to call and see if there's any way they can squeeze me in on an emergency basis. I can't take this for another two weeks. And anyway, if they wait that long it might screw up my Remicade schedule.

Ouch, ouch, ouch!

Tortilla Stew

I converted my first conventional recipe to a crockpot recipe tonight, and it was goooood. I took my Uncle Gov's tortilla soup recipe, made a few changes, and threw it all in the pot. One of the changes was to add a cup of rice toward the end of the cooking time. The rice soaked up a lot of the liquid, so it's not particularly soupy anymore, so I'm calling it Tortilla Stew instead. Here it is if you'd like to try it.

Becky's Tortilla Stew

1/2 onion
2 heaping spoonfuls of chopped garlic- maybe 3 cloves or so
1 tablespoon butter or olive oil
1- 14.5 oz can tomato sauce
2 cans chicken broth
3-4 skinless chicken breasts
1 can black beans
1 cup frozen corn
1 cup uncooked rice
1 teaspoon cumin
1/2 teaspoon turmeric
2 teaspoons coriander
1 teaspoon chili powder

Cut chicken in approximately one inch cubes. Finely chop the onion. Heat fry pan and melt butter. Saute onion and garlic until tender. While that's cooking, pour the chicken broth and tomato sauce into crockpot. Stir to combine. Rinse beans and add to crockpot. Add corn to crockpot. When the onions and garlic are done add to crockpot. Sprinkle chicken with salt and pepper to taste and brown in fry pan. Add to crockpot. Add spices and stir to combine. Cover and cook on low for 6-8 hours or high for 3-4 hours. In the last half hour add the rice, stir, and cover. When rice is tender serve, topped with chopped cilantro, avocado, grated cheese, or sour cream.

ETA: It looks like 1 cup of rice is too much, at least if you want something soupy. There was some liquid the first night, but it was totally absorbed by the time I broke out the leftovers the next day. It made a flavorful rice dish, but there's no way you could call it soup. Next time, if I want soup I'll try 1/3 cup uncooked rice and see how that works.

Changes

As you can see if you've ever been here before, I've made a few changes to the blog. I've been bopping around reading other people's blogs lately and decided it was time to blow the dust off around here. I was sick of the green. This is much cleaner. I'll probably make a few more changes- maybe add some pictures if I can figure out how. If you've got any suggestions I'd love to hear them. Blog design is most definitely not my area of expertise.

Yummy, yummy yogurt

So, Wednesday night I made another batch of yogurt. This time I tried a slightly different method- I heated the milk to boiling on the stove top and brought it back down to temp in a cold water bath before adding the starter and wrapping it up for the night. The resulting yogurt was much milder than the crockpot version. The milk itself might have made a difference, too. When I went to HEB they had half gallons of organic milk on sale for $2 a piece (when I bought milk for my last batch of yogurt they were $2.99 a piece), but they were out of skim so I had to use 1%.

Whether it was the method or the fat, this batch of yogurt is gooood. The flavor is so mild that there's no need to add any honey. I just mixed in some diced apple and homemade granola and breakfast is served.

I will probably use the crockpot to make yogurt again at some point, but for right now the stove top version is my method of choice. With the crockpot it was hard for me to be available to start it, stop it, stir it at the right times. Even being off work, I'd be napping or at a PT appointment or I'd forget to start it and then I'd have to stay up late to finish it. With the stove top version, as long as I've got a half hour to spare I can do it and be done.

In the meantime, I found another use for my crockpot- chicken nuggets. I made the Crockpot Lady's chicken nugget recipe for dinner tonight, and they were yum. http://crockpot365.blogspot.com/2008/09/crockpot-chicken-nuggets-recipe.html
I will definitely be making these again. I used tortilla crumbs for the breading, seasoned with onion and garlic powder and seasoning salt. They were a little tortilla-ee, so I may consider trying a different gluten-free bread crumb option. Maybe I'll crush up some Glutino pretzels and make a pretzel crust. Although at $6 a bag, the Glutino pretzels may be a little pricey to use in cooking.

It's only 9:30 but I'm getting tired. I think it's off to bed for me.

Disaster!

My yogurt. It did not yoge. I got it started as usual last night, but this morning instead of waking up to a batch of tangy delicious yogurt I found a crockpot full of slightly weird smelling milk. I ended up eating leftovers for breakfast instead. I suspect that either it was too cool in the apartment for it to "take" or there wasn't enough live culture left in the yogurt I used as a starter. That'll teach me to wait until I'm out of yogurt to make more.

Ouch

I think I over did it yesterday. Today, all day long, I just hurt. Definitely the worst day since I started on the Fibromyalgia meds. Maybe one of the worst days ever. Ouch. I laid down for a nap this afternoon and ended up sleeping hard for three hours. I felt a little better when I woke up, but still. Ouch.

I've been doing a little research, and while I haven't found much solid info so far, it looks like there are some dietary recommendations for people with Fibromyalgia. Of course, there's always the general "eat a well balanced, low fat diet." Well duh. The other two recommendations may be a little harder to swallow. Hur.

The first is a high protein/low carb diet. I already try to work lean protein into my diet whenever possible. Mostly chicken or turkey, eggs, and non-fat dairy. Fish less often, because the good quality stuff tends to be more expensive, and I'm not as comfortable cooking fish as I am with other meats. I don't digest pork and especially beef well these days, so I avoid them where I can. The low carb part of the program worries me. I know I can't go hog wild, and I've already cut a certain amount of carbohydrate out of my diet with the gluten free thing. But rice and potatoes are my go-to foods when my guts are misbehaving, and I worry about losing them.

The second Fibro dietary recommendation is also a real blow. Anything in the nightshade family. That means tomatoes and potatoes. Also peppers, but I've mostly cut those out of my diet already for Crohn's-related reasons. Tomatoes and potatoes. That hurts. I love them both, and eat them both regularly. Ouch.

Of course I couldn't imagine giving up wheat either, and here I am gluten-free and thriving. So maybe I can do it. Maybe I'll at least try. But I don't know. It's going to take a lot of thinking and a couple more days like today before I'm willing to take that leap.

Learning to Eat My Vegetables

One of the first things we did after I was diagnosed was request a consultation with a dietician. If you're diagnosed with a gastrointestinal disease it only makes sense to talk to an expert about what to eat, right? We talked for a while, and she left me with a handout that I like to call the Naughty List. It's a list of everything that I shouldn't eat while my guts were healing. On the list is anything hard to digest, including most vegetables and especially all raw vegetables.

Now that the inflammation seems to be under control it's time to get brave and start eating vegetables again. So last night I had a salad with dinner. A salad! I realize for most people that would be, "Ho hum. Just another Wednesday night." But I hadn't had a salad in almost two years. It was a big deal. If I could have figured out how to stick birthday candles in it to celebrate, I would have. I've used most of an onion in various recipes in the last week. And tomorrow I'm taking a real leap. I'm making the Crock Pot Lady's Fish Chowder with corn. (Corn is the boogie man of us Crohnies. It can cause blockages when your pipes are narrowed due to inflammation.) (Sorry, I know. TMI.)

If all goes well with the corn, maybe I'll swing by Fadi's next week and have some cauliflower! Mmmm. Fadi's.

Oh Happy Day!

Health, like many things, exists on a continuum. On one end there is Healthy, Energetic, and Strong and on the other end there is Dog Turd. I've spent most of the last seven or eight months, and far too much of the last two years, on the Dog Turd end of the spectrum. Today I realized as I was singing in the shower that I'm rapidly inching my way toward Healthy, Energetic. Strong coming right up. Happy day, indeed!

I really think the new meds are making a difference. I also think that getting a little more strict about the gluten free thing is helping, too. It's amazing how easy it is to get lazy about something even when you know you'll suffer for it.

I made the yogurt overnight Saturday! I was a little worried it wouldn't set up, but it came out perfect. Sunday morning I had a big bowl of yogurt with honey and cinnamon stirred in, and granola on top. This morning I had the same, but I added half a chopped apple. Yum! Tomorrow I'm going to add a some vanilla. Can't wait. (It takes so little to make me happy!)

The next crockpot experiment will be bread. Whole Foods makes an excellent gluten free bread mix, but it expands too much to fit comfortably in my bread machine. (I tried to make a loaf to take with me to a friend's house for Thanksgiving, but it grew up and over the side of the pan and burned on the heating element. Man did that smoke!) The Crockpot Lady made bread in the crockpot, and it worked for her. I never would have thought to try it that way. So we'll see how it goes. I also picked up the ingredients to make granola. Homemade granola with my homemade yogurt? Sounds like a plan.

Tomorrow, if I'm still feeling perky, I want to move the furniture around in the living room. The goal is to have the treadmill in a position where I can walk and watch TV at the same time. I have plans for that treadmill, but I'm not ready to share yet. Let me get it moved around first.

News

Good news: My long term disability was finally approved. Yay!

Good news: I had my first appointment with the new Rheumatologist this week, and I really like her.

Bad news: She thinks I have Fibromyalgia in addition to Crohn's.

But that's actually good news because: Now we have a new direction for treatment, and I'm hopeful that I'll get my health under control soon and get back to a normal life.

Fantastic news: I took my first dose of Fibro meds last night, and I woke up feeling rested this morning, for the first time in months. Of course, I slept for 10 hours, but still!

Good news: She thinks that some of my joint pain is due to alignment issues. If that's the case, physical therapy should correct the problem and hopefully the pain will go away.

Bad news: The PT group she referred me to is out-of-network, and it's more than I can afford on disability. I'm going to call her office on Monday and see if she works with anyone else who might be in-network.

Weird news: She thinks I may have sleep apnea, so she's sending me for a sleep study. (She asked if anyone has told me that I snore, but unfortunately the cat's not talking.)

Fun news: I came across a recipe for making yogurt in the crockpot and bought supplies on my way home from the doctor's office yesterday. I can't wait to try it out! I love my crockpot. Yummy, healthy food with fresh ingredients and minimal work? I'm so there.

Sad news: I finally finished watching Torchwood series 2. Now I've got to wait for more episodes. I'm half considering upgrading my cable to include BBCA so that I can watch the mini season they're supposed to show this summer. (Yes, it's silly to spend so much more just for 5 episodes of one TV show. I probably won't do it, but it's fun to consider.)

More sad news: Netflix is dragging their feet on sending me Doctor Who series 4. On the up side, I know that I've got a lot of good stuff to watch. Eventually.

And that's all the news fit to print.

2008 Reading List

In 2007 I started a journal listing all the books I read that year. I enjoyed it so much that I decided to continue. Here are the books I read in 2008:
1. Size 12 Is Not Fat- Meg Cabot
2. Empire of Ivory- Naomi Novik
3. Crocodile on the Sandbank- Elizabeth Peters
4. Not Quite a Lady- Loretta Chase
5. The Ladies of Missalonghi- Colleen McCullough
6. Plum Lucky- Janet Evanovich
7. The Masque of the Black Tulip- Lauren Willig
8. Sizzle and Burn- Jayne Ann Krentz
9. Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist- Rachel Cohen and David Levithan
10. Real Murders- Charlaine Harris
11. Dragon Blood- Patricia Briggs
12. Big Boned- Meg Cabot
13. The Spymaster’s Lady- Joanna Bourne
14. His for the Taking- Julie Cohen
15. Alien Taste- Wen Spencer
16. Stray- Rachel Vincent
17. The House of the Scorpion- Nancy Farmer
18. Shaken and Stirred- Kathleen O’Reilly
19. A Good Yarn- Debbie Macomber
20. Sex, Straight Up- Kathleen O’Reilly
21. Swimming Without a Net- Mary Janice Davidson
22. Everyone Else’s Girl- Megan Crane
23. Missing You- Meg Cabot
24. A Vision of Murder- Victoria Laurie
25. One Foot in the Grave- Jeaniene Frost
26. Princess Mia- Meg Cabot
27. The Sharing Knife: Legacy- Lois McMaster Bujold
28. Lady Anne’s Dangerous Man- Jeane Westin
29. Sweet Silver Blues- Glen Cook
30. My Fair Captain- J.L. Langley
31. Phyllida and the Brotherhood of Philander- Ann Herendeen
32. Fairyville- Emma Holly
33. Isabella- Loretta Chase
34. Last Wolf Standing- Rhyannon Byrd
35. The English Witch- Loretta Chase
36. Small Favor- Jim Butcher
37. Nightkeepers- Jessica Anderson
38. From Dead to Worse- Charlaine Harris
39. Grimspace- Ann Aguirre
40. Lord Perfect- Loretta Chase
41. Fearless Fourteen- Janet Evanovich
42. Certain Girls- Jennifer Weiner
43. The Third Circle- Amanda Quick
44. Dragonflight- Anne McCaffrey
45. Blood Noir- Laurell K. Hamilton
46. Venetia- Georgette Heyer
47. Strange Attractions- Emma Holly
48. Unquiet Dreams- Mark delFranco
49. The Lost Duke of Wyndham- Julia Quinn
50. The Summoning- Kelley Armstrong
51. Miss Wonderful- Loretta Chase
52. Lover Enshrined- J.R. Ward
53. The Man With the Golden Torc- Simon R. Green
54. Hidden- Eve Kenin
55. Your Scandalous Ways- Loretta Chase
56. Don’t Hex With Texas- Shanna Swendson
57. Cry Wolf- Patricia Briggs
58. Personal Demon- Kelley Armstrong
59. It’s All Too Much- Peter Walsh
60. The Curse of Chalion- Lois McMaster Bujold
61. The Sugar Queen- Sarah Addison Allen
62. Kitty and the Silver Bullet- Carrie Vaughn
63. Daemons Are Forever- Simon R. Green
64. Paladin of Souls- Lois McMaster Bujold
65. Acheron- Sherrilyn Kenyon
66. Unlucky- Jana DeLeon
67. Victory of Eagles- Naomi Novik
68. Oh My Gods- Tera Lynn Childs
69. Bet Your Bottom Dollar- Karin Gillespie
70. Demons Are a Ghoul’s Best Friend- Victoria Laurie
71. Dark Light- Jayne Castle
72. My Lord and Spymaster- Joanna Bourne
73. Night Season- Eileen Wilks
74. Into the Fire- Suzanne Brockmann
75. Gluten-Free Girl- Shauna James Ahern
76. Half-Assed- Jennette Fulda
77. The Hallowed Hunt- Lois McMaster Bujold
78. The Sharing Knife: Passage- Lois McMaster Bujold
79. Notes From a Small Island- Bill Bryson
80. Living With the Dead- Kelley Armstrong
81. Aphrodisiac- Allyson Roy
82. Marked- P.C. Cast and Kristen Cast
83. Blood Lines- Eileen Wilks
84. A Brother’s Price- Wen Spencer
85. Magician: Apprentice- Raymond E. Feist
Happy New Year's, y'all!

Mr. Flurry

This is Mr. Flurry. I found the free pattern online and knit him up out of stash as a Christmas present for my brother's inlaws. Isn't he cute?

He was knit in one piece and hemmed up the back, as the pattern directs. Sadly, my seaming skills are not that great, creating an unfortunate butt-crack effect. A friend says that the dimpling adds a nice cellulite effect, too. (Some friend!)

What I've really knit here is a brand-new Christmas character: Flurry the Lard Ass. Put him on your kitchen table. Use his as a decoration on your holiday buffets. Let him be a reminder that you too could look like this if you don't put down the cheese ball RIGHT NOW.

I feel a little bad giving Flurry to my inlaws-once-removed. They're nice people, and I'm hoping they'll put it on a shelf somewhere where no one can see the rear view. I didn't intend to send them a fat assed snowman for Christmas. Sometimes things just work out that way.

Good News/Bad News

I just had a call from my GI's office. Good news- the biopsies taken during my colonoscopy last week show no cancer or current inflammatory activity. The bad news? The colonoscopy shows no unusual activity. So, if there's nothing wrong with me, why do I feel like ass? I'm scheduled for a pill cam next week (a new test for me), and she wants me to make an appointment with a new Rheumatologist. Maybe those will turn something up. I certainly don't want anything to be wrong with me. But clearly there is something wrong, and if we can't find it, we can't fix it. Whatever's wrong with me, we have to fix it soon. I can't stay on disability much longer- it doesn't pay all my bills and the savings is running out, plus the insurance will only cover me for two more months. If I don't get back to work soon, disability or no, I'm afraid I won't have a job to go back to.

How's that for holiday cheer? In slightly better news, the Christmas knitting is just about done. If I'm lucky, the family presents will go out in the mail tomorrow. Wednesday and Thursday are taken up with doctors' appointments, and then I'd like to get my tree up and decorated over the weekend. (Late for everyone else, but early for my family. We usually put our tree up on Christmas Eve.) So that's my week.

Roto Rooter, that's the name...

I had my first appointment with a new GI this afternoon, and surprise, surprise she wants a new colonoscopy. That's not inappropriate considering I haven't had one since I was in the hospital last summer.

To say I'm looking forward to it is an overstatement, but a colonoscopy (and required prep) are kind of a a right of passage for those of us with Crohn's. I've never done the prep before, and I'm kind of curious how this is going to go. From everything I've heard, it'll be unpleasant. I guess I'll know on Thursday. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

It's Here

After two and a half weeks of fidgeting and stressing out, the dishcloth cotton I ordered to make Christmas presents is here. Now I just have to knit my hands off trying to get it all done in time. This has not been the best online shopping experience.

Pisgah: Peaches & Creme is the best dishcloth cotton I've tried, but based on this order, your customer service isn't good. One of the items I ordered was out of stock and no one bothered to tell me. When I called looking for a tracking number (a week later) you couldn't find the order, and it took two or three more phone calls before you were able to track it down. And you had already charged my card. You had the opportunity to turn that bad impression around by offering to upgrade my shipping, but you didn't do it. (That's what I would have done, if that had happened with an order in my office. Of course, it wouldn't have happened because we always notify customers immediately if a product is backordered, and make suggestions of alternate products if they don't want to wait for the backorder to come in. That's good customer service.) My overall impression of your company? Mediocre.

UPS: We're breaking up. You rescheduled on me. Then you stood me up. Then you lied about it. Then you promised to call and never did. You're like a combination of every bad boyfriend I've ever had. I won't be shipping my Christmas packages with you this year. Or likely ever again.

Now that the yarn has finally arrived, I'm motoring through, trying to get everything done on time to ship for Christmas. I've finished two dishcloths and started a third in just about 24 hours. I'm going to have to take it a little easy- my hands are really starting to hurt. But I still hope to finish dishcloth three before bed tonight. Then tomorrow I might start working on one of the three bags I still hope to knit. Those are a much looser knit than the dishcloths, so hopefully those will be a little easier on my hands and forearms.

In slightly more cheerful news, I watched disc 3 of Primeval last night and this morning, and I'm LOVING this show. I'd be seriously considering upgrading my cable package to include BBC America if it wouldn't double my cable bill. Thank the TV gods for Netflix. I've got a pretty decent Blockbuster down the street, but their TV on DVD selection is pretty well limited to US productions, and most of those are crime or soap opera type dramas. Not much in the way of sci-fi.

Doctor Who, series two disc one, is in the player for tonight and the final disc of Primeval should be in the mail today. At least I've got good stuff to watch as I crank out those rows.

Who

Last night I finished watching Doctor Who season one. (The wireless is still working, sort of.) I'm surprised to say that I'd seen more of it than I realized. The Slitheen were familiar, as was the phrase Bad Wolf. I'd also seen at least part of an episode later in the series with a large (fire?) demon. I'd seen just enough to be confused and lose interest. That's why I don't like to jump into the middle of a series. I want to be in on it from the beginning.

I got very attached to Christopher Eccleston as the Doctor- he brought such charm to the role. I'm not sure how I'm going to like David Tennant. The first disc of season two should come in the mail by the end of the week, so I guess we'll see.

Apparently I've developed a thing for British accents. The other DVDs I received today were disc two of Primeval (another BBC show) and Prince Caspian.