Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Peace, perfect peace, with loved ones far away....

My mom came down for an IBD conference this weekend and flew home this morning. I loved having her, but I have to say I'm glad she's gone. I might have mentioned, oh, about 800 times, that Crohn's saps my energy. I'm tired all the time. And my mother, bless her, is not a restful person. A lot of it is guilt. She wants to be here helping me all the time but it's not possible, so when she's here she wants to DO STUFF for me. She wants to be HELPFUL. Never mind that I don't particularly want done any of the stuff she's trying to do. Or that what would really help me is if she'd quit banging around in the kitchen or vacuuming the living room and let me take a nap.

Part of the problem was my expectations, too. I was so excited that she was coming! I hadn't seen her since Christmas. I wanted to take her to the quilt show, and go to the movies, and get our nails done, and maybe go clothes shopping. I really wanted to take her up to the Renaissance Festival, but I thought it might be too much for me, and I didn't want to stress her knee. (She had a knee replacement last winter.) What did we actually do? We went to the conference, and she had to drive us home when it ended at 3:30, because I was too tired to drive. We went to Whole Foods so that I could pick up a few groceries and she could see what kind of gluten free stuff they had. (Some really good stuff, btw.) She helped me pick out new frames for my glasses. That's it. No movies, no quilt show, no nothing. I drove her to the airport and voted this morning, and now I feel like someone hit me with a hammer. This sucks.

I did manage to write a few words for NaNo. I'm up to 1300-something. I want to get a few words on the page today, and hopefully 1500-2000 words tomorrow between naps. Thursday is Remicade and the Rheumatologist, so I don't expect to get much done then. I'd like to get caught up by the end of next weekend, but we'll see. I'd also like to feel like a million bucks, and we've all seen how successful that wish has been.

I think I'll go take a nap now.

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