2011 Wordle

I meant to post this last week sometime, but you know how stuff gets away from me.  It's a Wordle of the titles and authors of all the books I read in 2011.  Pretty clear who made my "most read" list, huh?

Sorry it's so small.  If you click on it, you'll go to the Wordle page with a larger image.

The Book List- 2011

Here it comes.  The hairy, scary list of over 300 books that I read this year.  (There are a fair number of category and novella length stories in here, so it's not quite as impressive as it sounds at first.)  I've bolded my favorites.  The ones that are both bolded and starred *** were my very most favorite.  I've reread many of the starred ones a time or two already.

1.  How to Marry a Duke- Vicky Dreiling
2.  Desperate Choices- Kathy Ivan
3.  Doctor Who: Snowfall- Gavin Collinson and Mark B. Oliver
4.  Midnight Crystal- Jayne Castle
5.  The Sevenfold Spell- Tia Nevitt
6.  The Awakening- L.J. Smith
7.  Waking the Witch- Kelley Armstrong
8.  Not Just the Nanny- Christine Ridgway
9.  Like Clockwork- Bonnie Dee
10. Warrior- Zoe Archer
11. Treasured- Crystal Jordan
12. Physical Therapy- Z.A. Maxfield
13. Coin Operated- Ginny Glass
14. In Too Deep- Jayne Ann Krentz
15. Ladies Man- Suzanne Brockmann
16.  A Discovery of Witches- Deborah Harkness
17.  Somebody Killed His Editor- Josh Lanyon
18.  Fatal Shadows- Josh Lanyon***
19.  A Dangerous Thing- Josh Lanyon***
20.  The Hell You Say- Josh Lanyon***
21.  Death of a Pirate King- Josh Lanyon***
22.  The Dark Tide- Josh Lanyon***
23.  Among the Living- Jordan Castillo Price
24.  Criss Cross- Jordan Castillo Price
25.  The Dickens With Love- Josh Lanyon
26.  His Convenient Husband- J.L. Langley
27.  Hemovore- Jordan Castillo Price
28.  Erias Menage- Alice Gaines
29.  All She Wrote- Josh Lanyon
30.  Crux: Southern Arcana, Book 1- Moira Rogers
31.  Lessons in Love: A Cambridge Fellows Mystery- Charlie Cochrane
32.  Mercy Blade- Faith Hunter
33.  Duck!- Kim Dare
34.  The One That Got Away- Rhianne Aile and Madeleine Urban
35.  Whisper Falls- Toni Blake
36.  Body & Soul- Jordan Castillo Price
37.  The Spurned Viscountess- Shelley Munro
38.  Blinded By Our Eyes- Clare London
39.  Undeniably Yours- Shanon Stacey
40.  Fair Game- Josh Lanyon
41.  The Happy Onion- Ally Blue
42.  Blameless- Gail Carriger
43.  Burning Up- Angela Knight, Nalini Singh, Virginia Kantra, Meljean Brook
44.  His at Night- Sherry Thomas
45.  Lead Me On- Victoria Dahl
46.  Heaven- Jet Mykles
47.  Court Appointed- Annmarie McKenna
48.  Strawberries For Dessert- Marie Sexton***
49.  Purgatory- Jet Mykles
50.  Hell- Jet Mykles***
51.  The Iron Duke- Meljean Brook
52.  Holiday Sparks- Shannon Stacey
53.  Catch Me If You Can- L.B. Gregg
54.  Black Gold- Clancy Nacht, Thursday Euclid
55.  Bareback- Chris Owen
56.  Here Comes the Groom- Karina Bliss
57.  Motor City Witch- Cindy Spencer Pape
58.  Amethyst Bound- L. Shannon
59.  Talk Dirty to Me- Ginny Glass, Inez Kelley
60.  Call Me Irresistible- Susan Elizabeth Phillips
61.  Bring the Heat- M.L. Rhodes
62.  Shadowfever- Karen Marie Moning
63.  Touch Me Gently- J.R. Loveless
64.  Blue Ruin 1: Some Kind of Stranger- Katrina Strauss
65.  Coming Undone- Susan Andersen
66.  Tech Support- Jet Mykles
67.  Yours, Mine, and Howls- Kinsey W. Holley
68.  Handcuffs and Spreader Bars- Kim Dare
69.  Mind F*cked- Mia Watts
70.  Pretty Man- Ryan Field
71.  Sex and the Single Earl- Vanessa Kelly
72.  Coming Clean- Inez Kelley
73.  Blood, Smoke, and Mirrors- Robyn Bachar
74.  Texas Tangle- Leah Braemel
75.  Strange Fortune- Josh Lanyon
76.  Promises- Marie Sexton
77.  Faith & Fidelity- Tere Michaels
78.  Overnight- E.C. Sheedy
79.  One Con Glory- Sarah Kuhn
80.  Drawn Together- Z.A. Maxfield
81.  The Charlie Factor- Diana DeRicci
82.  Slave Boy- Evangeline Anderson
83.  Slave to Sensation- Nalini Singh
84.  Snowed In- Rhianne Aile and Madeleine Urban
85.  Brier's Bargain- Carol Lynne
86.  Seb's Surrender- Carol Lynne
87.  I Love Rock N Roll- Carol Lynne
88.  Cryoburn- Lois McMaster Bujold
89.  No One Lives Twice- Julie Moffett
90.  Whistling in the Dark- Tamara Allen
91.  Anna and the French Kiss- Stephanie Perkins
92.  The Ghost Wore Yellow Socks- Josh Lanyon***
93.  Sno Ho- Ethan Day
94.  Truly, Madly- Heather Webber
95.  Just For You- Jet Mykles
96.  Faith- Jet Mykles
97.  Genesis- Jet Mykles
98.  Revelations- Jet Mykles
99.  The Peach Keeper- Sarah Addison Allen
100. William's House- Amber Kell
101. Talker- Amy Lane
102. Talker's Redemption- Amy Lane
103. The Girl For Me- Failte***
104. Quicksilver- Amanda Quick
105. Striking Sparks- Jordan Castillo Price
106. Handcuffs and Leather- Kim Dare
107. Truth in the Dark- Amy Lane
108. Badlands- Seleste deLaney
109. Gambling On Maybe- Fae Sutherland
110. If I Must- Amy Lane***
111. Making His List- Devon Rhodes
112. Scoundrel- Zoe Archer
113. Wrong Number, Right Guy- Mia Watts
114. Hunters- Michelle Marquis
115. Three Wrong Turns in the Desert- Neil Plakcy
116. Shadow Touch- Marjorie M. Liu
117. Love & Scandal- Donna Lea Simpson
118. Rosemary and Rue- Seanan McGuire
119. Lord Scandal- Kalen Hughes
120. The Panther's Lair- Esmerelda Bishop
121. Infernal Devices- Abigail Barnette
122. Trash Course- Penny Drake
123. The Ghost on My Couch- L.A. Gilbert
124. Real Mermaids Don't Wear Toe Rings- Helene Boudreau
125. Hot Pursuit- Suzanne Brockmann
126. Magic Slays- Ilona Andrews
127. The Debutante's Dilemma- Elyse Mady
128. All Play & No Work- Carol Lynne
129. Breaking the Rules- Suzanne Brockmann
130. Edward Unconditionally- Lynn Lorenz
131. Always the Baker Never the Bride- Sandra D. Bricker
132. Fireflies- Ally Blue
133. With the Band- L.A. Witt
134. Everything and the Moon- Julia Quinn
135. Come Unto These Yellow Sands- Josh Lanyon***
136. The Hood of Justice- Mark Alders
137. Tabloid Star- T.A. Chase
138. The Red Pyramid- Rick Riordan
139. Yours to Keep- Shannon Stacey
140. Conquest- S.J. Frost
141. Do Over- Mari Carr
142. What I Did For a Duke- Julie Anne Long
143. Details of the Hunt- Laura Baumbach
144. Cry Sanctuary- Moira Rogers
145. A to Z- Marie Sexton
146. Silver Bound- Ella Drake
147. Should We Drown in Feathered Sleep- Michael Merriam
148. Camwolf- J.L. Merrow
149. The Dark Enquiry- Deanna Raybourn
150. Threadbare- Clare London
151. Pricks and Pragmatism- J.L. Merrow
152. When Tony Met Adam- Suzanne Brockmann
153. River Marked- Patricia Briggs
154. Hot Head- Damon Suede
155. Chasing AllieCat- Rebecca Fjelland Davis
156. My So-Called Love Life- Allie Pleiter
157. Steam & Sorcery- Cindy Spencer Pape
158. The Missing Butterfly- Megan Derr
159. Love Ahead: Expect Delays- Astrid Amara
160. With This Ring- T.A. Chase
161. How to Keep the Love of Your Life- Maureen Willmann
162. Hex Hall- Rachel Hawkins
163. Tin Star- J.L. Langley
164. Heartless- Gail Carriger
165. Call Me Sir, Boy- Kim Dare
166. Tempest Rising- Nicole Peeler
167. Side Jobs- Jim Butcher
168. Off the Beaten Path- Katrina Strauss
169. Ghost Story- Jim Butcher
170. Diving in Deep- K.A. Mitchell
171. Just-You Eyes- Clare London
172. We're Both Straight, Right?- Jamie Fessenden
173. Hard Fall- James Buchanan
174. Making Waves- Tawna Fenske
175. Dead Reckoning- Charlaine Harris
176. The Thief- Megan Whalen Turner
177. Man, oh Man!- Josh Lanyon
178. Muscling Through- J.L. Merrow
179. Lover Avenged- J.R. Ward
180. Collision Course- K.A. Mitchell
181. Buried Sins- Marta Perry
182. Spice n Solace- K.C. Burn
183. Stone Kissed- Keri Stevens
184. Jump First- Charles Edwards
185. A Dog Named Slugger- Leigh Brill
186. Under Fire- Jo Davis
187. Mistletoe at Midnight- L.B. Gregg
188. The Fortune Quilt- Lani Diane Rich
189. Life, Over Easy- K.A. Mitchell
190. Secrets- Jordan Castillo Price
191. Accidentally His- Shawn Lane
192. Sex, Lies, and Online Dating-Rachel Gibson
193. The Last Pure Human- Twisted Hilarity
194. Camp Hell- Jordan Castillo Price
195. In a Dark Wood- Josh Lanyon
196. Yakuza Pride- H.J. Brues
197. Artie the Good Witch- Scarlet Hyacinth
198. Devon Cream- Jet Mykles
199. Half Pass- Astrid Amara
200. Marry Me- Jo Goodman
201. A Nanny For Nate- Lisa Worrall
202. Canyons of Night- Jayne Castle
203. Keeping House- Lee Brazil
204. Devlin and Garrick- Cameron Dane
205. The Book of Bright Ideas- Sandra Kring
206. The Gentleman and the Rogue- Bonnie Dee
207. Maritime Men- Janey Chapel
208. The Shattered Gates- Ginn Hale
209. Ticket to Ride- Shawn Lane
210. Crazy Wind- Xara X. Xanakas
211. When Irish Eyes Are Smiling- Tom Collins
212. Mind Fuck- Manna Francis
213. Wooing Master Jones- Amber Kell
214. Snagged- Jet Mykles
215. Servant of the Crossed Arrows- Ginn Hale
216. Horizons- Mickie B. Ashling
217. Taste- Mickie B. Ashling
218. India Black- Carol K. Carr
219. Finding Forgiveness- Dana Marie Bell
220. The Broken H- J.L. Langley
221. Mummy Dearest- Josh Lanyon***
222. Wolfsbane (MIA Case Files, #1)- K.C. Burn
223. ePistols at Dawn- Z.A. Maxfield
224. Dressed to Thrill- Kimberly Gardner
225. Spin Out- James Buchanan
226. GhosTV- Jordan Castillo Price***
227. He Completes Me- Cardeno C.
228. precious_boy- K.Z. Snow
229. Catching a Buzz- Ally Blue
230. And Call Me in the Morning- Willa Okati
231. Foxe Tail- Haley Walsh
232. Cut & Run- Madeleine Urban and Abigail Roux
233. Spell Bound- Kelley Armstrong
234. Squire- Jet Mykles
235. Like a Sparrow Through the Heart- Aggy Bird
236. A Change of Tune- J.M. Cartwright
237. Wicked Gentlemen- Ginn Hale
238. Barging In- Josephine Myles
239. Bent- Sean Michael
240. Cherry Pie- Samantha Kane
241. Cooking With Ergo- Luisa Prieto
242. Love & Loyalty- Tere Michaels
243. Anything For You- Ethan Day
244. When Irish Eyes Are Sparkling- Tom Collins
245. Some Kind of Magic- R. Cooper
246. Oleander House- Ally Blue
247. Libra: Outlined in Ink- Vivien Dean
248. Brindisi Bedfellows- Jamie Craig
249. Shades of Gray- Brooke McKinley
250. An Uncommon Whore- Belinda McBride
251. Like Coffee and Doughnuts- Ellie Parker
252. Bad Company- K.A. Mitchell
253. The Curtis Reincarnation- Zathyn Priest
254. His Hearth- Mary Calmes
255. Sursein Judgment- Jet Mykles
256. Just Hit Send- Grasshopper
257. Rhapsody For Piano and Ghost- Z.A. Maxfield
258. The Assignment- Evangeline Anderson
259. Litha's Constant Whim- Amy Lane
260. Between Sinners and Saints- Marie Sexton***
261. The Dark Horse- Josh Lanyon
262. Scorpio: The Heart to Help- Jamie Craig
263. Quinn's Hart- Cassandra Gold
264. Long Tall Drink- L.C. Chase
265. Not Knowing Jack- K.A. Mitchell
266. Bear, Otter, and the Kid- T.J. Klune***
267. One Real Thing- Anah Crow
268. Handcuffs and Pretty Things- Kim Dare
269. Gobsmacked- L.B. Gregg
270. Stolen Hearts- Sasha L. Miller
271. Crossing Borders- Z.A. Maxfield
272. The Cards of Life and Death- Colleen Gleason
273. Aquarius: He Said, He Said- Jamie Craig
274. Sonoran Heat- Katrina Strauss
275. Men Under the Mistletoe- Josh Lanyon, Harper Fox, Ava March, K.A. Mitchell
276. Goldilocks and His Three Bears- A.M. Riley
277. Grand Jete- Diana Copland
278. Submission- Chris Owen
279. The Locker Room- Amy Lane
280. Christmas With Danny Fit- Amy Lane***
281. Holiday Outing- Astrid Amara
282. Got Mistletoe?- Andi Anderson
283. Del Fantasma: Duck Fart- Jade Buchanan
284. Counterpoint- Rachel Haimowitz
285. And Playing the Role of Herself- K.E. Lane
286. Hide Out- Katie Allen
287. Primal Red- Nicole Kimberling
288. Baby It's Cold Outside- Nicole Kimberling
289. GI Joe Holiday- Amberly Smith
290. Winter Warmers- Chrissy Munder, Clare London, JL Merrow, Josephine Myles, Lou Harper
291. Mistletoe & Margaritas- Shannon Stacey
292. The Plot Bunny- Scarlet Hyacinth
293. Icecapade- Josh Lanyon
294. Someone Special- T.C. Blue
295. Black Cat Ink- Nicole Kimberling
296. All Snug- B.G. Thomas
297. The Winter Courtship Rituals of Fur-Bearing Critters- Amy Lane
298. Batteries Not Included- J.L. Merrow
299. Hue, Tint, and Shade- Jordan Castillo Price
300. Simple Gifts- L.B. Gregg
301. Carol of the Bellskis- Astrid Amara
302. Twinkle, Twinkle- Josephine Myles
303. The Elf, the Cat, and the Human- Sasha L. Miller
304. The Larton Chronicles- James Anson

In Flux

I don't know about you, but for me the week between Christmas and New Year's is always an odd one.  The old year is over, but the new one hasn't started yet.  It's a time for wrapping up old business and gearing up for the new.

For the old business, I'm mostly making sure that my book and knitting records are up-to-date, bills are paid, that kind of thing.  Reading the last of the holiday stories-- tonight's is Carol of the Bellskis, a m/m Hanukkah story.  And wrapping up a stray knitting project-- a hat made from the leftover yarn from my brother's Christmas socks that I intend to donate to a local homeless shelter.

For new business, I've started my first knitting project for myself.  It's this sack sock to collect all the random plastic bags that I keep finding all over my room.  (For someone who rarely leaves the house and shops almost exclusively online, I have a shocking number of plastic bags floating around the place.)  (Bonus, it will help me keep my room clean!)  I've picked up a couple of songs that inspire me for the beginning of a writing soundtrack.  I'm not working hard yet, but I'm poking in that direction.  And I've got my eye on a reading challenge over at Goodreads that should help me control the ebook buying issue.  I felt like crap today (monthly surge in symptoms, plus I'm just worn out from the past week or so), so no activity whatsoever, and no cleaning.  I think I might need the same for tomorrow.  But Wednesday, look out!  I'll poke around and do something or other.  My favorite Wii game encourages me to compete against myself, to always go just a little further, so once I get into it again that should help keep me motivated.

So, progress.

And with that, I will leave you with a picture.  I got up to go to the bathroom, and when I came back I discovered someone had stolen my spot.

It's a little hard to tell, because the bed is so cluttered.  But that green thing is the hat, almost finished then, and completed now.  There's also a cone of white/black/pink yarn that I'm using to make my sack sock.  I'm getting an interesting swirling stripe effect as it knits up.  I'll take a picture in a day or two, when I'm further along and it's easier to see what's going on.

'Night, all!

If You're Happy and You Know It

OK, as much as I enjoy rubbernecking, it's time to attempt to be A Better Person again.  So I decided it was time to do another post about things that are making me happy right now.  We haven't had one of those lately, and I have more reason to be happy than I have in a while.

The first thing that's making me happy right now is I Am a Paleontologist by They Might Be Giants.  Someone is using it in a commercial right now, and it makes me want to boogie every time I hear it.

Something else that had me whooping and bouncing on the bed recently was Monday night's episode of The Closer.  Captain Raydor (Mary McDonnell) was first presented in the show as a nemesis to Brenda.  Then she shifted to an unlikely ally.  This season she's been revealed to be a pretty valuable supporter, even if Brenda doesn't always know it.  (Chief Pope can seriously bite me.)

Anyway, I loved seeing Raydor lead that chase last night.  And then when she whips out that shotgun?  Whoa, momma.  You go girl!  Definitely one of the most badass moments of the series so far.  And I absolutely loved the look Tao gave her as she was walking away.

If you haven't ever watched The Closer, and you at all enjoy cop shows, I suggest you do what I did a few years ago and rent season one.  It's a fantastic series, and well worth watching.  (Although I'm bummed that this is the last season.)

Happy Thing #3 is that it's looking like I've got at least a little bit of my knitting mojo back!  I hadn't touched the needles in months, until this past weekend.  I poked around on Rav until I found a pattern that looked promising (of course I changed my mind and did something different when the needles actually kissed yarn), and then I hauled out all my sock yarn scrap.  Y'all, I have a boat load of sock yarn scrap.  Three big, overflowing bags of the stuff, and then some.

I sorted out all the scrap, and most of it was sufficiently bright.  So then I sat and watched TV and wound a ginormous ball of scrap yarn, tying on a new color when I came to the end of each scrap.  This thing was easily half again the size of my fist.  When you consider how thin sock yarn is, that's a LOT.  And then I cast on my Shawl of Many Colors.  (It'll probably change names a few times, but that's what it is for the moment.)

After a couple of days, the SoMC is on row 87 or so, and growing all the time.  This pattern isn't super specific.  You get to a certain point and then they give you a general recipe to continue, because the size needed on something like this can vary so much, depending on who it's for an how they want to use it.  I could probably stop right now and have a respectable head scarf.  But I want a full size shawl, which means the wings span is equal to the height of the wearer.  I'm 5'7, so I've got a ways to go.  Fortunately, I'm pretty sure I've got enough sock yarn scrap to make it happen.  But at some point in the not too distant future I'm going to have to start rolling another ball of yarn.

I'd planned to post a picture of this grand masterpiece, but I can't find my camera.  Or the batteries that go in it.  So that's going to have to wait for a day or two.  By then it will be bigger and more colorful and more impressive anyway.

One more thing that I'm really excited about.  There's a challenge coming up in my M/M reading group called the Quarterly Gang Bang.  (Trust me, not as kinky as it sounds.)  Every person who signs up picks a book for each other member, and they all pick books for you.  By the time the picking is done you could have 50-60 titles on your list.  The idea is to read all those books in the next quarter.  The reading part doesn't actually start until October, but sign ups start on Thursday.  I've been wanting to do this for MONTHS, but I felt like I needed to clear out some of the mainstream romance I'd managed to accumulate but not read in the last several years.  I did get some of it read (89 out of 198 books read so far this year were non-m/m), and I hope to knock out a few more in September.  And then the rest of the year will be dedicated to reading as much delicious m/m lovin' as I can handle.  I even have a few holiday reads lined up already.  I've been looking forward to this for a long time, and I can't wait to dive in.

So that's all the happy stuff.  And I know I said I wasn't going to gossip any more, but I just have to mention that we've had our first official *flounce*!  Someone who, by her own admission, left the group for a while and only recently came back, felt the need to declare us all terrible people and announce that she was leaving the group again.  So there!  It was kind of funny, because a) although she claimed we were all rude, her post was by far the most obnoxious one to date, and b)... oh, hell.  I forget what b was.  But anyway, you know you haven't had a good internet kerfluffle until someone loudly declares that they're taking their ball and going home.  I suspect the whole thing will have petered out to nothing by this time tomorrow.

It was all amazingly civil for an internet dust up.  If this had happened on my knitting forum there would have been a pile on, and by the time the mods stepped in the offending parties (not always the original offenders, either) would be ripped to shreds.  A half dozen people would dramatically flounce (only to quietly return next week), and whoever is left when the dust settles would be quietly knitting sweaters from the remains of the deceased.

Knitters are Hardcore.

I couldn't imagine it happening in the Betties.  I mean, I know it could happen anywhere, and we certainly aren't immune to petty scandals.  But accusations?  Histrionics?  I don't see it.

Anyway, that's what's going on with me for the mo.  I'll try to control myself in the future.  And I'll let you know about positive developments.  I'm not quite ready to say anything about them yet (besides, this post is ridiculously long already), but I'll update you when the shift from "things I intend to do" to "things I'm actively doing".  Intention is important, but if you don't follow it up with action you won't get very far.

Lip balm flavor of the day: Gummy Bear

My Squick Is Not Your Squick

Yesterday I read Brier's Bargain by Carol Lynne, and it kind of squicked me out.  You see, Brier was abused as a child, and brain damage from that abuse left him mentally handicapped.  His partner, Jackie, is of normal intelligence.

Brier is a sweet, caring person, and he's described as being high functioning.  He holds down a 40 hour a week job (although it's at a company where his twin brother is a long time employee, and it's not entirely clear what he does for those 40 hours), he gets his driver's license during the course of the story, and buys a car with his own money saved for the purpose.  But he's also described as being child-like and having problems controlling his temper (a not-uncommon problem for people who've had head injuries).

This book was actually kind of odd.  It's labeled as being the first book in the series, but it obviously picks up in the middle of the story.  After reading it I did a little research and discovered that Lynne changed publishers, and she had to change the name of the series, although it's a continuation of the old one.  As the story starts, Brier is going about his daily life and missing his lover, Jackie.  Jackie is on assignment in the Middle East.  Brier hasn't heard from Jackie in a while, and as a reader it's not clear if the relationship is real or if it's all in Brier's mind.  It turns out that Jackie was injured in an explosion, and everyone kept the news from Brier.

Jackie comes home missing part of his leg, and Brier settles in to take care of him.  At this point it's clear that there really is a relationship between the two men.  What's not clear is why.  We never get to see the falling in love portion of the relationship, even in flashback.  Why did Jackie, a man who's highly skilled and speaks at least two languages, fall in love with a man with the mind of a child, who at 35 is just learning to take care of himself?

There was more that left a bad taste in my mouth, like the fact that Brier was sexually abused while institutionalized.  It left me wondering if Brier really had the capacity to consent to a sexual relationship.  At one point Brier asks Jackie about sex with girls.  His only knowledge or experience of sex was with his abuser and then Jackie.  Can anyone really be gay or straight when they're so ignorant of their options?  I don't doubt that Brier loves Jackie.  But in a way it feels like a continuation of the abuse, not a choice freely made.  Would I feel differently if this was a straight relationship instead of a gay one?  I'd like to think not, but I might.  Would I feel differently if Brier was of normal intelligence?  Definitely.

My discomfort with this story has me thinking about disability and my attitude toward different types.  Brier has no problem with Jackie losing part of his leg.  It makes no difference at all in the way he feels about him.  He works hard to learn how to care for Jackie, because he doesn't want his lover to be in pain.  And yet it's a little creepy to me that Jackie takes the same attitude toward Brier and his disabilities.  People who are mentally handicapped are just as worthy of love as everyone else.  But it squicks me when that love comes from someone of normal intelligence.  It feels like the partner of normal intelligence is somehow taking advantage.  And in this situation Brier's history of abuse just increases that feeling.

Am I a terrible person for feeling this way?  I like to think that I believe that everyone is equal and deserves equal respect.  (Except, you know, for asshats who have personally shown that they don't deserve my respect.)  Does this squick come from a reasonable urge to protect someone who may not have the capacity to make the best decisions for themselves, or is my inner asshat showing?  I don't think any less of Jackie because of his physical disability, and would think quite a bit less of anyone who would hold it against him.

The choice of Brier as a romantic lead was a bold one.  I'm all for pushing boundaries and giving all kinds of people a voice in fiction.  But this one left me unsettled.

If anyone wants to check out the book in question, Brier's Bargain will be available tomorrow, Monday, for free from All Romance eBooks.  Or, you can weigh in now and tell me I'm an asshat.

I Really, Really Wanna Go

If you're at all plugged into the book world, especially anything to do with romance, you probably noticed that the RT convention was last week.  I've been wanting to go for a long time, but with one thing or another-- the expense, travel, work, being sick and having no money-- I just haven't made it.  Next year it's in Chicago, and I really want to go.

There are a couple of things holding me back at this point.  One is the expense.  This is not a cheap convention.  It's almost $500 just to sign up.  If I don't have a roommate, which with my weird sleep and bathroom habits would probably be best, I'm looking at about another $800 would be my guess.  Transportation shouldn't be a biggie.  Amtrak has a train that runs from Indy to Chicago, and the schedule looks like it should work well for me.  Only $50 round trip, and I don't have to borrow one of my parents' cars for almost a week, pay for parking, and then be alert enough to pilot it for several hours.  All together, I figure this thing will cost me $1,600.  If the social security comes through between now and then, it might be doable.  If it doesn't (and I've learned at this point not to bank on anything when it comes to the government turning over the benefits I'm owed), then there's no way in hell I can afford to go.

The second problem is as much a deal breaker as the money.  Can I physically handle it?  At this point a trip to the grocery store wears me out.  I only leave the house on average about once every 3-4 weeks.  Am I going to be able to manage 5 days of workshops and brunches and chatting in the hotel bar?  I can tell you right now that there are some events I'll take a pass on.  The cover model pageant?  No, thanks.  The awards ceremony?  If an author I really love is up for an award, and present to accept, maybe.  But I'll likely skip that, too.  In fact, I'd probably skip most of the evening parties.  I expect to be nearly comatose from exhaustion and over stimulation by dinner time most days.  I don't know if I can do this, and I'm afraid that it will end up making me really sick.  But I still want to go.

Why?  I want to connect with readers in real life.  I'm getting active on Goodreads, and I have all my Betty friends.  It would be beyond awesome to get a chance to meet a few of them.  And then there are all those other people out there who love to read and talk books.  There will be authors there.  Maybe I'll get a chance to meet some of my favorites!  And as much as anything, it would be amazing to go out and do something like a normal human being.  A late-thirties adult woman who actually goes places without her mommy and daddy taking her.  Adult socialization with someone I'm not related to.  NO Little House on the Prairie or The Waltons on TV in the background.  Does that not sound magical?

So, all I have to do is convince the government to give me my money and then somehow find the energy to manage a five day conference.  Yeah, not likely to happen.  But I still really, really want to go.

March Review and April Goals

At the beginning of last month I set a few goals, so I thought I'd update you on how they went.

Goal #1: clean

Weeeeeeel, I made some progress here, but it was cancelled out by new mess.  There are still two baskets full of clean laundry in my room, but one of them is a new basket with new clean laundry, so that's progress.  I did some dusting, but I made all new dust.  (I feel this is completely unfair, by the way.)  I got rid of some of the junk mail and random paper that I collect like a magnet, but not much.

Bottom line on this goal: my bedroom is still a pit, but not as much of a pit as it would be if I hadn't worked on it a bit.

Goal #2: get my Goodreads Books to Read in 2011 list under 100 titles.

Hahahahahahahahahaha!  I did manage to read 12 books that had been sitting on my list for a while, some of them over a year.  But I added a bunch of titles, too, and the current total stands at 116.

Goal #3: blog more than once a week

Personal stuff derailed me on this one.  I'm getting a handle on it, but no guarantees that I'm going to be any more regular this month than I was last month.  But I'm going to try.

And I want to say thank you for all the kind comments on the last post.  I appreciate the support.

Goal #3: return movie to Netflix

I did it!  And I managed to watch and return a couple other movies, too.  Success!

So that's March.  Goals for April are:

to finish my taxes (I'm working on them, but slowly)
clear some more floor space in my room
dust and tidy my dresser, which is currently piled high with holiday cards and an inch of dust, in addition to all the usual stuff
blog more
continue to pick a lip balm flavor of the day, because it makes me happy
try to keep my 2011 reading list from growing past 116 this month-- read at least one book for every book that gets added to the list

Sounds good, I think.  Doable.

Lip Balm Flavor of the Day: Lavender Lemonade

Update on Last Week's Goals

So, some stuff got done, some stuff didn't, and some stuff is worse than it was before.  The DVD finally went out in the mail.  I managed to do some dusting and clear out a bag full of packing materials, catalogs, and general crapola.

But the laundry is still in the basket, taking up way too much space.  And instead of reducing my "books to read in 2011" file, it's increased from 107 to 120.  (A couple ebooks finally came available at the library, and I picked up a few others cheap.)  But 21 books in the rest of the month is still doable, if tight, as long as I don't add any more titles to the list.  (HA!)  Maybe I should just change the goal to "somewhere near 100" instead of "under 100".  Might be more realistic.

So that's about it right now.  One step forward, two steps back.  You know, the usual.

Lip Balm Flavor of the Day: Cat Pee (not as scary as it sounds- pink grapefruit, orange, and lime)

Enough With the Tattoos

I've read two book recently, both published within the last year, with heroes who are presented as scary, intimidating guys.  Why do the heroines feel this way?  What's the cue that these guys are threatening, criminal, and/or low class?  They have tattoos.

Really?  Because I'm about as non-threatening, law abiding, white bread as it gets, and I have two of 'em.  You can't swing a cat without hitting one of us tattooed weirdos.  They're so routine on college campuses that they've practically become a cliche, and have been since the late 80s/early 90s.  For God's sake, Jenny Crusie has a tramp stamp.  (Which I read about on her blog once, but can't find the post now and therefore can't link to.  I did however, spend a lovely hour rereading posts from 2008, and laughed so hard I scared the cat when I came across a reference to the Korean Restaurant Story.)

So please, authors, lay off the tattoos as Signs of Evil Intent.  There's a pretty good chance that a large portion of your readership has them, too, and we don't appreciate it.

Lip Balm of the Day: Peacock Puffs (lime, blueberry, cake)

Goals

Hello!  I'm not dead!  I'm just up to my eyeballs right now.  (How anyone who doesn't work or take care of a family or do anything really can be up to her eyeballs I don't know.  But whatever.)

Anyway, I'm here to set a few goals for myself.  First (and I can't believe I'm making this my first goal, but that should tell you just how much it's annoying me), I need to clean.  I have not one, but two laundry baskets full of clean clothes that need to be folded and put away.  There's precious little floor space in this room.  I don't need to take it up with laundry.  There's about an inch of dust covering everything in the room, and what's not covered in dust is covered in cat hair.  Or my hair, because I'm shedding like mad again.  At this rate I should be completely bald by next Tuesday.  And there are piles of junk mail and general crap everywhere.  I can't take it any more.  The room must be cleaned.

My second goal for the month is to get my Goodreads "books to read in 2011" list under 100.  That's really not all the books I intend or expect to read this year.  It grows constantly.  But most of the books on that list are things that I've already bought and are languishing in the TBR of Doom.  (Sorry, I just read Shannon Stacey's Undeniably Yours, and now everything gets an "of Doom" tacked onto the end.  Plus, it really is the TBR of Doom.  It's where books I want to read go to be smothered to death under the stack of all the other books I want to read.  Scary, scary place, my TBR file.)  There are 107 books on the list right now, so if I can read 8 of them, without adding any others (Ha!), I'll meet that goal.

My third goal is to blog more than once a week.  That's really kind of pathetic.  Even I, who go nowhere and have no life, can usually come up with something to say more often than that.

My fourth goal is to remember to return Scott Pilgrim vs. The World to Netflix.  I've only had it for a month now.  I've watched some of it, and it's only meh, plus it keeps acting weird and skipping.

So, those are my goals for the month.  I think I'll start out strong by sticking the Scott Pilgrim disc back in its envelope (if I can find it) and putting it on the table with the rest of the outgoing mail.

Lip Balm Flavor of the Day: Gummy Bear

Happy Days Are Here Again!

Another round of good news on the medication front.  My doctor's office called this morning.  The makers of Savella (my other Fibro medication) approved my patient assistance, and there was 3 months worth of free meds waiting for me at the office!  Yay!  My Fibro meds are the only ones I take that are too new to have a generic, which means they are the most expensive.  Now that I'm getting both of them for free, my monthly med costs have gone down by about 3/4.  That's huge-- a significant line item in the monthly budget slashed.

In other news, I've got the Kindle down to 724 items.  So far it hasn't made a bit of difference.  In fact, the battery is dying even faster.  But that might be because of all the clicking around to delete stuff.  I'll go back to more normal usage for the next couple of days and see if there's any improvement.

And more good news-- I have a solid story idea to work on.  Last night I was thinking about a story I started almost 15 years ago and abandoned.  The actual pages are long gone at this point (trust me, it's no loss), but the idea lingered.  As I was falling asleep last night it fused with another scrap of an idea, and suddenly I have a viable story idea.  In the next few days I'm going to work on Kelley Armstrong's Outlining 101, and then I want to start writing March 1st.  I'm not going to push myself to NaNo it.  I'm afraid I'll flame out in a couple of days at that kind of pace.  But I'd definitely like to finish March with a nice chunk of pages.  I've also had a little bit of a brain wave about the story I was working on last fall during Discovery.  So I think I may end up outlining both at the same time.  We'll see how confused I get.

Lip Balm Flavor of the Day: Gingerale

Why Can't They All Be Ebooks?

Small pet peeve time, folks.  As I'm sure I've mentioned 8,000 times around here, I love my ebooks.  Now that I've moved into a tiny room with no bookshelves and no storage, they are vital to my existence.  That's not hyperbole, y'all.  If it weren't for ebooks there'd be no books at all.  And I can't live like that.

So why, oh why, must so there be so many books I want to read that don't have a digital edition?  In the last week I've been all over Josh Lanyon (in the metaphorical sense), and now I want to try some f/f fiction.  (Apparently it's Gay Week here in The Little Bedroom in Indiana.)  I've done some research.  I found a title that comes highly recommended.  It looks like it has a lot of humor.  Score!  Except that it doesn't have a digital version.  No score!  No score!

The problem isn't so much that I want to buy, download, and begin reading an ebook while never leaving my bed (the only sitting surface in my bedroom), because I could buy it off Amazon and have it delivered right to the house without having to risk contamination by any of that icky ice and snow that's going around right now.  The problem is, once I have it, what do I do with it?  It's gone beyond a little scary and right into "call the EPA" at the moment.  I desperately need to CLEAN ALL THE THINGS!  Or more realistically, CLEAN SOME OF THE THINGS!  If one more thing comes into this room, it may just pop like a zit.  (Now there's an image for you.)

So all that means, no lovely, funny f/f story to read.  It makes me very sad.  The moral of this story?  (My mother would say it's "clean your room," but that is never the moral of any of my stories.)  Publishers, put out digital versions, please.  Because those of us with small living spaces and snow allergies want to read your books, too.

Off My Game

I'm feeling weepy and out of whack today.  Too much news, too much misery, not enough sleep.  Troubbie the Wonder Cat woke me up at quarter to six this morning wanting to be fed.  (Yes, he's still alive.)  I have a doctor's appointment this morning, and I have something I'm scared to show her.  Think it's an abscess that will need to be lanced, possibly requiring minor surgery and costing a million dollars.  The book I've been reading, The Awakening by L.J. Smith, is angsty and depressing.  Only 50 pages or so to left, and I don't want to go there today.

So what should I read?  I'm seriously considering breaking my self-imposed book buying moratorium and downloading a book for the Kindle.  What do you suggest?  Something happy happy, please.

2010 Book List

Every year since 2007 I've tracked my reading in my little red book.  That book is one of my prize possessions. It's a great resource when I want to give recommendations, or double check if I've read a book or not before buying or putting it on hold at the library.  Plus, it's fun to look back every once in a while and see what I've read.

I have a few rules for my list.  First, it has to be a while book.  If I only read a few chapters or a couple stories out of an anthology it doesn't count.  Also, only books I'm reading for the first time go on the list.  My regular re-reads of The Blue Castle or The Westing Game don't count.  Neither do all those Vorkosigan books that I'm re-reading before starting on the new one.  Without these rules my list would be much, much longer.  But the rules make me happy, and it's my list so what the hell.

Without further ado, my 2010 reading list:

1.  Home Is Where the Wine Is- Laurie Perry
2.  Shiver- Maggie Stiefvater
3.  Skin Trade- Laurell K. Hamilton
4.  Laced With Magic- Barbara Bretton
5.  The Convenient Marriage- Georgette Heyer
6.  The Magic Knot- Helen Scott Taylor
7.  Fired Up- Jayne Ann Krentz
8.  If He's Sinful- Hannah Howell
9.  Divine Misdemeanors- Laurell K. Hamilton
10.  Suite Scarlett- Maureen Johnson
11.  A Matter of Class- Mary Balogh
12.  My Sister the Vampire #1: Switched- Sienna Mercer
13.  Uneven- Anah Crow
14.  The Comeback Kiss- Lani Diane Rich
15.  Once Dead, Twice Shy- Kim Harrison
16.  The Reluctant Widow- Georgette Heyer
17.  Going Gray- Anne Kreamer
18.  The Rules of Gentility- Janet Mullany
19.  Ash- Malinda Lo
20.  Devil's Bride- Stephanie Laurens
21.  A Poisoned Season- Tasha Alexander
22.  Lord Braybrook's Penniless Bride- Elizabeth Rolls
23.  Alice I Have Been- Melanie Benjamin
24.  I Kissed a Zombie and I Liked It- Adam Selzer
25.  The Abduction of Julia- Karen Hawkins
26.  In Milady's Chamber- Sheri Cobb South
27.  Mr Impossible- Loretta Chase
28.  The Truth About Lord Stoneville- Sabrina Jeffries
29.  A Rake's Vow- Stephanioe Laurens
30.  The Twelve Sacred Traditions of Magnificent Mothers-In-Law- Haywood Smith
31.  The Murder of King Tut- James Patterson
32.  Wild Ride- Jennifer Crusie and Bob Mayer
33.  Lessons in French- Laura Kinsale
34.  Bundle of Trouble- Diana Orgain
35.  Skinwalker- Faith Hunter
36.  Flirt- Laurell K. Hamilton
37.  Intertwined- Gena Showalter
38.  Beyond Heaving Bosoms- Sarah Wendell and Candy Tan
39.  A Touch of Dead- Charlaine Harris
40.  The Reckoning- Kelley Armstrong
41.  What the Librarian Did- Karina Bliss
42.  Last of the Ravens- Linda Winstead Jones
43.  Born of Night- Sherrilyn Kenyon
44.  Blue Diablo- Ann Aguirre
45.  Captive of Sin- Anna Campbell
46.  The Cinderella Deal- Jennifer Crusie
47.  Beautiful Creatures- Kami Garcia and Margaret Stohl
48.  Instant Attraction- Jill Shalvis
49.  Scandal's Bride- Stephanie Laurens
50.  Mistress By Mistake- Maggie Robinson
51.  Blood Cross- Faith Hunter
52.  Darkfever- Karen Marie Moning
53.  Tales of the Otherworld- Kelley Armstrong
54.  The Dead Travel Fast- Deanna Raybourn
55.  The Girl Who Chased the Moon- Sarah Addison Allen
56.  Mistress of the Art of Death- Ariana Franklin
57.  Bloodfever- Karen Marie Moning
58.  Frostbitten- Kelley Armstrong
59.  Faefever- Karen Marie Moning
60.  Dreamfever- Karen Marie Moning
61.  Street Magic- Caitlin Kittredge
62.  The Englor Affair- J. L. Langley
63.  Exit Strategy- Kelley Armstrong
64.  St. Nacho's- Z. A. Maxfield
65.  Wild Heart- Lori Brighton
66.  Handyman- Claire Thompson
67.  Storm Born- Richelle Mead
68.  Exclusively Yours- Shannon Stacey
69.  Something About You- Julie James
70.  Stranded With a Spy- Merline Lovelace
71.  Rules Were Made to Be Broken- Lenore Black
72.  Demonfire- Kate Douglas
73.  What She Deserves- Ellie Marvel
74.  The Last Hellion- Loretta Chase
75.  Made to Be Broken- Kelley Armstrong
76.  The Vorkosigan Companion- Lilian Stewart Carl
77.  Zero at the Bone- Jane Seville
78.  Ten Things I Love About You- Julia Quinn
79.  Changes- Jim Butcher
80.  The Wicked House of Rohan- Anne Stuart
81.  Changeless- Gail Carriger
82.  The Madness of Lord Ian Mackenzie- Jennifer Ashley
83.  Heart's Sentinel- P.J. Schnyder
84.  Magic Bleeds- Ilona Andrews
85.  Sizzling Sixteen- Janet Evanovich
86.  Dark and Disorderly- Bernita Harris
87.  Maybe This Time- Jennifer Crusie
88.  Bullet- Laurell K. Hamilton
89.  Jungle Heat- Bonnie Dee
90.  Silver Borne- Patricia Briggs
91.  Alien Revealed- Lilly Cain
92.  Allegra Fairweather: Paranormal Investigator- Janni Nell
93.  Draw the Dark- Ilsa J. Bick
94.  What She Needs- Anne Calhoun
95.  Burning Up- Sarah Mayberry
96.  Last Night's Scandal- Loretta Chase
97.  Bayou Moon- Ilona Andrews
98.  Menage on a Train- Alice Gaines
99.  Tonight, My Love- Tracie Sommers
100.  Dark Road to Darjeeling- Deanna Raybourn
101.  Savage Sanctuary- Jacqueline Barbary
102.  Butterfly Tattoo- Deidre Knight
103.  Burning Lamp- Amanda Quick
104.  The Lion of Kent- Aleksandr Voinov and Kate Cotoner
105.  Hunger- Jackie Morse Kessler
106.  Dead in the Family- Charlaine Harris
107.  Motor City Fae- cindy Spencer Pape
108.  Penelope and Prince Charming- Jennifer Ashley
109.  Trust Me On This- Jennifer Crusie
110.  Twas the Night- Sandra Hill, Trish Jensen, Kate Holmes
111.  Nine Rules to Break When Romancing a Rake- Sarah MacLean
112. A Christmas to Die For- Marta Perry

That's it.  That's all she read.  I may knock off a little Doctor Who winter freebie while the house is quiet this afternoon.  If so, I'll come back and add it to the list.  If not, there's always next year!

Alien Revealed by Lilly Cain

I'm not calling this a review because it's really more of a recommendation.  Alien Revealed is hot, sexy fun.  The scifi world that Cain has created is interesting, and I'm hoping this is the beginning of a series.  I liked Alinna and I really like David.  There's some bondage, not super intense, but just a heads up.  I know it's not everyone's thing.  My only gripe is that it starts a wee bit slow-- Alinna and David don't start interacting together until page 18, which is pretty far in when the story is only 112 pages long.

This is a Carina Press title and can be purchased from all the usual vendors.  But I recommend if your reader can handle epub that you hightail it over to Kobo Books by the end of the day today.  They've got a $2 coupon running this weekend, which makes this an absolute steal.  The coupon code is "twodollars".  Enjoy!

And just so we're clear, I don't work for Harlequin or Kobo, and I don't know Lilly Cain or any other Carina Press authors, as far as I know.  I just enjoyed a good book and a good deal, and I thought you would, too.

Review: Dark and Disorderly by Bernita Harris

"I was standing there naked when my dead husband walked into my bathroom..."

Lillie St. Claire is a Talent, one of the rare few who can permanently dispatch the spirits of the dead that walk the earth. Her skills are in demand in a haunted country, where a plague of ghosts is becoming a civic nuisance.
Those skills bring her into conflict with frightened citizens who view Talents as near-demons. Her husband comes to see her as a Freak; so when Nathan dies after a car crash, she is relieved to be free of his increasingly vicious presence. Lillie expects to be haunted by Nathan's ghost, but not to become Suspect #1 for her husband's murder and reanimation.

But what's most surprising of all is the growing attraction between her and psi-crime detective John Thresher. He thinks that Lillie killed Nathan--and Nathan must agree, because his zombie is seeking revenge. Now she and Thresher must work together to solve her husband's murder--before his corpse kills her...

I have some very mixed feelings about this book.  I loved the concept, and the first line is a real attention-getter.  (And the cover is beautiful, but as we've previously established, I'm shallow like that.  Show me a pretty cover and I'm half way to buying the book.)  This one has been on my list of Carina Press titles to read since I spotted it just before it was released, and I was so excited when I was able to grab it for 99 cents from Kobo last week.

However.

The reading experience just didn't live up to my excitement.  There was something a little off about the writing.  It wasn't bad, but it wasn't quite right, either.  In some places the phrasing or expressions used were distracting and left me wondering if the author was British and hadn't quite nailed the Americanisms.  (I checked-- she's Canadian.)  Then, as I was writing this, I started to wonder if it really was set in the US or if that was just my assumption.  I've been skimming the book again, looking for clues, and as of page 75 I'm still not sure.  This may seem like a dumb thing to nit pick about, but clearly it's still bugging me two days after finishing the book.  Where does this story take place?

Also, I wasn't completely in love with the main character, Lillie.  Most of the time I liked her, but there were one or two spots where she came perilously close to TSTL territory.  At one point in the story, she and Johnny are trying to make their way through a riot.  He tells her to run, and she decides to wade into the fight instead, because she doesn't want to be a coward and leave the others to fight.  The idea might be nice, but someone with no training, whom the crowd is actively trying to harm, is a liability not an asset in a situation like that.  If the professionals tell you to run, run baby run.  There was a scene late in the novel that really redeemed her risk taking for me, though.  (I won't give any specifics because I don't want to spoil anything.)  The fact that she took this risk when Johnny didn't want her to, and was able to give reasonable, clear headed reasons for putting herself in danger, really showed that she wasn't reckless.  She cared more about others than her own personal safety, which helped me like her as a character.

There were some things I really liked about the book, too.  The supernatural entities that we meet are interesting and grounded in existing myths.  Harris's concept of Talents and how the general public might accept them, or not, was different from a lot of other books in the genre, and I found that refreshing and probably pretty accurate considering human nature.  And this is a small thing, but I really like Dumbarton the spectral dog!

Johnny Thresher, and his relationship with Lillie, is something else I have some mixed feelings about.  Johnny is an enigma, and I definitely like the fact that there is much more to learn about him.  I love a romance that develops slowly over the course of several books, when well executed, so I had no problem with this plot element still being up in the air at the end of the book.  I didn't quite buy the chemistry between Johnny and Lillie, though.  I really wanted to, but I didn't.  The transitions between the mystery/supernatural storylines and the romance storyline were too abrupt and didn't feel natural.  Johnny seemed to blow hot and cold throughout the book, and Lillie's sometimes overreaction to him got annoying after a while.

That said, I think this book showed potential.  There were storylines that weren't resolved, not enough to be annoying but definitely enough to make you want to see what happens next.  And I'm hopeful that as the series progresses the romance will be worked more seamlessly into the narrative.  Overall, I'd give this a C-.  I didn't enjoy it as much as I'd hoped to, but I'm interested enough to give the next book in the series a try.

Help! Need More Books!

Last night, after waffling around for quite a while, I signed up for Lani/Lucy's Discovery class.  This morning I got a welcome email with one pre-class homework assignment: read.  (I knew there was a reason I liked her!)  I never need an excuse to Read All The Things-- I spend a good chunk of my free time doing that anyway.  But this time I'm a little stumped and could use some recommendations.

The details are still a little fuzzy to me (which is why this class is perfect timing), but I know I want to set my story in Texas somewhere in the 1830's-1901.  A lot of cool stuff happened here in those years.  You know what else those years roughly represent?  The Victorian era.  Steampunk!  Which is perfect for my story, since there is some time travel going on. 

This is where you come in.  I've read a little steampunk, but not a lot.  Can you make some recommendations?  What is good?  I like some romance in my stories, anything from a slow growing tension over several books in a series to hanky panky on the first page.  But I don't have to have romance as long as the story is well told and exciting.  I just want to get a feel for what's happening in the genre.

If you've read any of my other posts, you know I'm up to my eyebrows in moving right now.  So I really need books that are available in e-format.  Books that might be available from Overdrive would be great, because my library has an excellent subscription with them.  And I have some credit built up at Amazon, so books available for the Kindle would be good, too.

If you don't have any steampunk recommendations, what have you read and loved lately?  My tastes are fairly eclectic.  It all mixes around in the soup pot in my brain, and you never know what group of disparate things will spark off each other and create a new story idea, or take an old story in a totally new direction.

Review: Zero at the Bone by Jane Seville

After witnessing a mob hit, surgeon Jack Francisco is put into protective custody to keep him safe until he can testify. A hitman known only as D is blackmailed into killing Jack, but when he tracks him down, his weary conscience won't allow him to murder an innocent man. Finding in each other an unlikely ally, Jack and D are soon on the run from shadowy enemies. Forced to work together to survive, the two men forge a bond that ripens into unexpected passion. Jack sees the wounded soul beneath D's cold, detached exterior, and D finds in Jack the person who can help him reclaim the man he once was. As the day of Jack's testimony approaches, he and D find themselves not only fighting for their lives... but also fighting for their future. A future together.

I'm a little behind the times on this one- Zero at the Bone came in second in this year's DA BWAHA tournament.  It's the first time a GLBT novel has ranked anywhere near that high, so I figured it must be something special.  I was right.

I don't read a ton of m/m romance, but I've read enough to be at least familiar with the sub-genre.  This is by far the best written m/m romance I've ever read.  Jack and D are real people with serious, complex problems.  And while it took one of them some time accept the attraction, there was refreshingly little gay angst.  Jack and D have enough problems, serious life and death problems, without worrying about how family or society will feel about their relationship.

The outside threats to the couple weren't straightforward, either.  Jack has the mob after him, which is dangerous enough.  But D has been in the business for years and has built up some treacherous enemies himself.  The mystery of exactly who is pulling the strings kept me guessing through the middle of the book.

There were some things that bothered me about the book, however.  Jack and D had a tendency to squabble, which got annoying after a while.  I know that fights are often used in romance novels to up the tension and signal buried attraction.  But somehow that didn't work between these two.  It felt like the same argument over and over again, even if the subject wasn't the same.  I'd rather have seen some real conflict in those scenes than fights that never go anywhere.

Toward the end of the novel, D does some things to make it safe for Jack to go back to his old life.  But he refused to tell Jack at first what he's done.  The reader knows, so there's no mystery there, and there was nothing wrong or shocking in his actions, so I don't know what the point was.  It just created more unnecessary conflict in the relationship.  D had already revealed a lot about his life as a hitman, so why does he feel the need to hide this?  I was ready for these two to get their happy ending already, and it was frustrating to me that this refusal to share caused problems.

Which leads me to my biggest problem with the book.  Romance has expanded to encompass a lot of things-- heroes can be cowboys or vampires or, in the case of D, even hitmen.  They can be set in the past or the future or on a whole different planet.  For many readers, including me, the couple can be gay, straight, or more than a couple.  But there is one contract you can't break.  There has to be a Happily Ever After.  You can even bend that one a little bit and leave them with a Happy For Now in certain circumstances.  But there is no Happily Ever anything for Jack and D at the end of this book, which seriously impacts my reading satisfaction.

If the author had finished with Chapter 29, I could have believed as a reader in Jack and D's happy ending.  But the author spends the last 10% of the book (30 pages or so?  I don't know for sure as I read this on my Kindle and it gives me percentages, not pages.) showing Jack and D having relationship trouble.  Realistic?  Yes.  But romance lovers read for fantasy, not reality.  They clearly love each other, but neither is happy in the relationship as it stands on the last page, and that is a disappointment to me as a reader.  There's a note after the last line that says, "Jack and D's adventures aren't over," and invites the reader to visit the author's website.  The website has a couple of short stories and says that Ms Seville is working on her next book featuring these two heroes, which is good to know.  But I want some sort of relationship resolution now, in this book.  I don't want to have to find the author's website or wait for the next book.  It doesn't have to be Happily Ever After.  I'm OK with a sequel, although you don't see that too often in romance novels.  I'd like to read more about these two characters.  But to give me a satisfying reading experience I need at least a Happy For Now ending.

To sum up, the characters were well defined with exceptional depth.  But there were some problems, especially with the ending.  Overall, I'd give this one a B+.

So Bad I Won't Give You The Title

I'm happy to say I finally finished the boring book I've been dragging through for the last week.  I don't know why I insisted on finishing the damn thing.  I'm getting better about setting aside books that don't grab my attention.  Life is too short for dull books.  But old bad habits die hard.

The biggest problem with this one was there was no conflict, no ratcheting up of the tension as the book progressed.  Which is kind of weird considering it was about a small band of friends trying to stop a demon horde from invading their small town.  Seems like there'd be plenty of conflict and tension there, doesn't it?  But it didn't play out on the page.  The two main characters meet and are instantly in love.  No internal conflict for either of them, nothing external to prevent them getting together.  Well, they can't be together forever because he's only on Earth for a week, but that doesn't stop either of them from taking the plunge.  It leads to lots of internal dialog, but not much actual tension.  The time lock- he only has a week to stop the demon invasion- should have amped things up, but it didn't.  The only consequence if he fails is that he goes back to limbo, where it's eternally boring.  His prize for defeating the demons is to go on to heaven, where he doesn't show any great desire to be, either.  He pays lip service to wanting to win, but there's no sense of urgency, no life or death consequences.

Another major problem is that until the final battle they never really succeed or fail.  There are a half dozen battles with the demons leading up to the climax.  In each one the good guys get weaker and the lead bad guy gets stronger, and yet each time the battle comes to a draw.  The swordsman keeps freaking missing every time he swings.  The hero keeps running out of magical powers half way through the fight.  And yet they never try a new strategy.  They go to where the demons are, they fight for a while, they all go home.  Rinse, repeat.  The stakes are never increased, although I guess when you start off with the fate of the world hanging in the balance, it's hard to go up from there.  The whole thing was just very blah and flat.  If demon invasions are boring you know the author is doing something wrong.  And then in the final battle scene they still do pretty much exactly what they've done all along, except the heroine grabs the sword (which she was told not to do because anyone but the swordsman would die from handling it) and she kills the demon.  The dude who has centuries of training can't kill the demon, but the girl who's never touched a sword manages it with one swing.  And the magic sword doesn't kill her.  If I weren't reading on my Kindle I would have been forced to fling the book against the wall at that point.  I hate it when an author sets up rules for their world and then violates them when they get inconvenient.  At that point everyone but the heroine is dead, except SURPRISE! they aren't.  And then she wraps up with something so magnificently cheese-tastic that I'm pretty sure I've seen it on at least half a dozen different cartoons.

Really, it was that terrible.  I'm so glad I get to read something else now!

Alpha Heroes

I don't normally consider myself a fan of the Alpha hero. You know, those brooding, controlling, nasty tempered, He-Man types so common in romance novels. Mostly I find myself rolling my eyes at their antics, or occasionally wishing that the heroine would get smart, bash them over the head with a lamp, and run like hell.

But every once in a while I come across a fabulous Alpha, and when I do he's unforgettable. Recently I've been obsessed with two exceptional Alphas: Nicholas Brisbane from Deanna Raybourn's Lady Julia Grey series, and Jericho Barrons from Karen Marie Moning's Fever series. (And the book I'm reading right now, Exit Strategy by Kelley Armstrong, has a character who shares at least one or two significant traits with these guys, but it's too soon to tell if he really falls into this category.) I'm trying to figure out what it is about these two guys that makes them so fascinating.

The thing that stands out the most for both of these characters is that they are men of mystery. Who they are, where they come from, even what they are in the case of Barrons, is a great big question mark. (This part is definitely true for Armstrong's Jack, at least so far.) Beyond the personal mystery, their motives are often hidden. We can speculate on why they do what they do, but it's rarely immediately clear. And they like to work behind the scenes, sometimes lying, sometimes just not telling their female partner (who in both cases also happens to be the narrator) what they're doing.

Another classic Alpha characteristic that they both possess is that they're powerful. Barrons is perhaps more classically powerful- he's rich, he's feared, he has magical power of (again) mysterious origin, and he has inside knowledge that the narrator lacks. Brisbane is powerful, but not in the way the typical historical Alpha is. He's not titled or rich. He's not well connected, at least not the kind of connections that most people would want to acknowledge. As a private inquiry agent he knows a lot of things that other people don't want getting around, so that does give him a certain amount of power. But his power really comes from his intelligence and charisma. It's clear that he's not the kind of man you mess with. He also has something else going for him, which I won't name here in case anyone reading this hasn't read the series. I don't want to spoil it. (And seriously, if you haven't read Silent in the Grave, go do it now! I'll wait.)

(Good, wasn't it? Chocolate and Amazon gift cards both make nice thank you gifts. ;P )

It's probably really not fair to try to analyze Jack at this point, since I'm less than half way through the book. But he's a hitman, which is power on a whole different level than Brisbane and Barrons. If a hunter, a predator isn't Alpha, I don't know what is. But he seems to work very hard to keep all of that suppressed and low key, so he doesn't come across as a classic Alpha at all in that respect. (Again, we're getting all our information on Jack from a female partner who is also the narrator. I'm beginning to suspect that Nadia is a slightly unreliable narrator, not because she's purposefully hiding something, but because it's starting to look like she has a big ol' honking blind spot when it comes to Jack. Which is slightly weird considering she's also a hitman, his protege, and claims not to trust him completely. Not bad writing weird, just human nature weird.)

Brisbane and Barrons also have that classic Alpha need for control, although they display it in different ways. Brisbane has something in his personal life that he tries desperately, and not always successfully, to control, which I think makes control everywhere else even more important to him. He fears for Julia's safety at various times, and he tries to protect her by controlling her involvement with the case. (Doesn't always work.) He never comes across as being arbitrary, though. He has specific reasons for not wanting her to take certain actions, and he's usually pretty upfront about them. (He's less upfront with her in Silent in the Sanctuary, but again he has very specific, non-arbitrary reasons for keeping information from her.)

Barrons is much more irritating with his need for control. He doesn't want to share information with Mac- he wants her to just shut up and do what she's told. And then he treats her like an idiot for putting herself in dangerous situations that she could have avoided if she'd known what she was getting into. If I were Mac I'd have taken my pretty little foot in my pretty little gold sandal and kicked him in his not so little shins. This stupid refusal to share information (Mac does it, too- you're fighting faeries but when the grim reaper starts appearing to you, you decide it's just a hallucination and don't tell anyone? Stupid.) (Sorry, that was a bit of a spoiler, but jeeze. The Stupid, she has it.) Um, I think I was in the middle of a sentence there before I got off track. Anyway, his need to control her actions (and yet allow her to wander free and unguarded and get into all kinds of trouble during the day- what's up with that?) (OK, I'll stop now.) and control the flow of information is really boneheaded. His control is also a major benefit to Mac later in the story. Humina humina! But mostly it's annoying and unnecessary. His complete refusal to reveal anything about himself is fairly intriguing, though.

Jack's need to control appears to be completely turned inward, at least so far. And as a hitman there's a lot to control. He's constantly monitoring and adjusting his personal appearance, accent, and body language to blend in and hide. Unlike the typical Alpha, it's really important that he not stand out in a crowd. He's acted as a mentor to Nadia for quite a while, but he treats her as another professional and doesn't try to control her actions. Unlike the female leads/narrators in the other books, Nadia has a strong sense of caution as she moves through her very dangerous world, so he doesn't need to be looking out for a blundering partner. Unlike the other two men, Jack would never partner up with someone who might flail around and make the kind of mistakes Mac, or even sometimes Julia, make. But he also doesn't seem to be withholding the kind of information that Nadia needs, either. So far he has controlled her access into the wider community of hitmen (which is more than fine with Nadia) and her access to information about him. I think (and again, I'm less than half way through the book, so I could be way off here) that he controlled that information at first as a safety measure, and Nadia has respected that so much that she doesn't even ask. Now he'd like to be able to share more with her and doesn't quite know where to start.

All three possess very specialized skills. That's maybe not the first trait you'd think of in an Alpha, but it stands to reason that if they're running the show then they're the best. Barrons has major magical skills and serious knowledge of the supernatural world. Brisbane is a phenomenal detective and has something else that gives him an edge. Jack can kill you a dozen different ways, and you'll never see it coming.

So, if I want to take these guys and use them as a template for creating my own fascinating Alpha, then I want a man who is mysterious (the more mysterious the better- I think that's why I like Barrons, major flaws and all- I want to be there when we finally learn all about him), powerful, intelligent, controlled and skilled. And eventually I want him to turn all that mystery, power, intelligence, control, and skill on me. Er, I mean my heroine!

After all this blah, blah, blah it seems like all I've done is define your run of the mill Alpha. But it's really how those characteristics were expressed that made these guys so unforgettable. How the author breathed life into them. Which is, of course, the hard part. Now that I have the general shape of the character, I'm going to have to start figuring out who this Alpha-shaped guy is and placing him in a story.

But not tonight- I'm tired.