Monday, August 09, 2010

21 Days

Last week a lot of things broke loose for me, and the disability situation felt a little bit less hopeless.  But now it's Monday, and the anxiety levels are creeping up again.  I have 21 days to get my Social Security straightened out and keep my insurance, pack up the apartment, have a huge apartment sale, and donate the rest.  You can barely walk for all the junk in my living room right now.  And then it looks like I'm headed for a lay over in Massachusetts.

Honestly, I think the Massachusetts part is adding to my stress levels.  Mom and Dad have a nice house, and there's certainly room for me to crash there for a while.  But other than closing myself in the bedroom, there's not much room for privacy.  I'm used to being on my own, and I'm not looking forward to suddenly being in a three person household.

As far as the physical sorting and packing goes, it's pretty overwhelming right now.  There's just SO MUCH to do, and I'm not sure what to concentrate on next.  It's all complicated by the fact that as much as I want to just have Goodwill come in and haul it all away, I really need whatever cash a sale will bring in.  A friend and her son will be coming by tomorrow to help, so maybe I can get some of the stuff that's not likely to sell out of the house.  It would be nice to be able to move around without tripping.

Am I blathering?  I feel like I'm blathering.  But I've got to let some of this out or I'm going to explode.  My own blog is the safest place to do it right now.

On Friday I hired a law firm to help with the Social Security appeal.  Hopefully I'll find out who my contact there is today.  I'm also waiting to hear back from the insurance guy about some issues with my long term disability.  There's so much to do, so little time to do it in, and I'm WAITING.  Really, it's a very good thing no one will be taking my blood pressure today.

I think I'm just going to pick a direction and start working.  It's not like there aren't piles of crap everywhere you look.


  1. {{hugs}}

    When I moved out of my parents' house I would've rather gouged out my own eye than play marry-date-or-dump with all the crap in my closet. It goes pretty fast once you get past the almighty horror of how overwhelming it is to begin. I hope your stuff sells--I have a friend who is a yard sale queen, sells off last year's clothes to buy new ones and prices everyting at $3 or under unless it's some kind of electronic equipment. I'm a yard sale failure cuz I overprice everything (It's still priceless and precious even though I no longer want it!)

    And I feel you on the loner business. Only child. Used to play in the closet. Actually adore quiet spaces, dark or otherwise. So, may I suggest standing in the closet and taking deep breaths at your parents'? I'm only half kidding lol. I hope the law firm is made of awesomeness and gets that junk straightened out so you can concentrate on wellness and happiness!

  2. P.S. I misread the post title and though you were either going to rehab or watching that Sandra Bullock movie 28 Days. Viggo Mortenson was kinda yummy in that one. :)

  3. LOL! I'm in junk rehab! As God as my witness, I will never buy crap I don't need again!

    (That is a lie. I will buy crap I think I need and then never use it. But I'll try to do it less often.)

  4. Anonymous4:08 PM

    Becky, pretend like you are helping a friend pack up her apartment. Where would you tell her to start? Listening to an audiobook helps me get through housework, maybe that could help you pack?

  5. Becky -
    I've been where you are kiddo. My mom did the SSD dance in 2002 and its end result 2 years later was her permanently moving in with me. I haven't had any privacy ever since. When we moved her out of PA to a friend's house in MA, I thought I'd lose my mind at the seemingly insurmountable task.Then, while she was in the hospital in 2008 with c.dif, I moved us to a ground floor apartment in two weeks flat.

    My advice? The big picture will blow your mind. Pick a section or a room or a corner and set that goal for the day. When you're finished with that, BE FINISHED and give yourself a break. If you can't allow such an indulgence, then pick another achievable section and do that. Don't try to envision it all at once.

    Hang in there with the SSD. Almost everyone needs to involve a lawyer in the process - unfortunately that seems to be par for the course.
    Good Luck!
    Jersey Betty

  6. Thank you for the support, ladies! I made it through the day some how and even managed to get some stuff done. I'm way behind on my popd podcasts, so I've been listening to Jenny and Lucy giggle and yell at the dogs. It's helped a lot. ;)

    I'm a little behind where I'd hoped to be because the power went out for about an hour tonight (I paid the bill, I swear), but I do have help coming tomorrow, so hopefully it'll all even out.


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