We're having a problem here at Multi-Generational Housing Solution Central, and it's really getting to me. A couple weeks ago Mom bought a package of hot dog buns and left them sitting on the kitchen table instead of putting them away in the pantry or refrigerator. Later that evening, while everyone was watching TV, Trouble jumped up on the kitchen table and chewed a big hole in the package, eating a good part of four of the eight buns in the pack.
Mom lost her shit. She cleaned up the mess, and then she came into my room, where I was sitting watching TV and Troub was sleeping on the bed, and started yelling at him. Mom is loud anyway, because she's losing her hearing, but this was right up in his face, shaking her finger at him, loud. He tried to back up a bit, she just kept coming. So he hissed at her. She gave him a little tap on the rump and kept yelling. He hissed again, she hit him a little harder and kept yelling. He hissed louder, and she really started whaling on him. At this point I started yelling, and Mom backed off enough for Troub to get under the bed and hide. Then she tried to come around the bed and go after him again. Can we say out of proportion response for a $2.50 pack of buns? I had to chase her out of my room to get her to leave him alone. And he'd been sleeping on my bed for at least 45 minutes before she came in screaming, so he probably had no idea why she was suddenly attacking him.
Now it's weeks later, and Troub still hisses and runs away every time she comes into my room. It doesn't help that she insists on making eye contact and pushing his personal space boundaries. She seems to be taking a nasty pleasure in tormenting him, and when I pointed out today that he's still upset about what she did (after she came in and chased him off AGAIN), she said she's still upset about what HE did. Dude. He wrecked a package of hot dog buns. Get a grip. If it's such a big fucking deal I will buy you another pack of fucking buns. When I pointed out that Troub has a right to not be hassled in his own space, she said something to the effect of "It's not his space, it's my space." So much for the whole "it's your home, too," speech I keep getting.
I never thought I'd have this kind of problem when we all moved in together. It's bad enough that I feel like I can't get a moment's peace, with her constantly poking her nose in my room and sometimes just opening the door and walking in. (What does a closed door say to you?) But I can't tolerate her hassling my cat anymore. I don't know how I'm going to handle this. She's proven to be completely impervious to hints and subtle suggestions. I'm going to have to get forceful about it, and probably about her leaving me the hell alone while I'm at it. We both have a right to be left in peace when we've retreated to our room-- the only place in the house that is supposed to be just for us. (I can't even get her to leave me alone in the bathroom!) The only outcome I can see of this conversation is for her to get all cranky and butthurt and even worse. And if I don't find a good way of doing this soon I'm going to end up snapping and saying it in the rudest way possible. But I'm sorry, the way she's behaving is not OK.
ETA: Mom walked into my room a few minutes ago and asked, "are you mad at me?" I told her I wasn't happy about how she was acting with Troub. First she starts on, "well, he's just a cat," and then she changed the subject and walked out. Now she's crashing around in the kitchen. If she doesn't take it easy she's going to break something.